The Day I Took My First Challenge at the Free School: Learning My Father's True Feelings

I can laugh and talk about it now, but

When I started attending the free school,
every day was so much fun.

I played card games like Daifugo with friends,
chatted,
learned how to play instruments, and attended workshops.

I even wondered,
is it really okay for me to have such a good time?

Back when I was at home, even if I had a fun moment,
the guilt of "not going to school"
would hold me back somewhere.

But it was different here.
Everyone here wasn't going to school either.

That's why I could enjoy myself with peace of mind.

I was enjoying every day like that
to my heart's content.

But that wasn't enough.
I felt that people aren't satisfied
with just having fun.

I became a member of the executive committee
for the free school's anniversary festival.

I thought of plans to entertain my friends,
prepared for them, and had discussions.

And then,
I decided to challenge myself by performing on the piano.

As the preparations progressed,
I started to feel anxious.

Will I be able to convey it properly?
Will this go well?

But I didn't run away.
It's okay to fail.
That kind of atmosphere was there.

On the day of the event, I was working behind the scenes.
Actually, there was a reason for that.

I knew that if I were just sitting down,
it would be hard to go to the restroom.

While working behind the scenes,
I went to the restroom many times.

Even so, no one thought it was strange.
Just that alone gave me great peace of mind.

This experience became a major source of comfort
that helped me later on, as someone who suffers from psychogenic frequent urination.

The time for my performance approached.

There were more people than I expected in the audience,
and I was nervous.

But there was an atmosphere where people would watch over me kindly
even if things didn't go well,
so I felt a little relieved.

My turn came,
and I stood in front of the piano.

At that moment, the door opened.
My mother walked in.

I was too embarrassed to tell her
about today's event.

I was surprised and embarrassed, but
I was happy.

Then, to my surprise, my father also walked in.
I was very surprised.

My father looked a little embarrassed,
but he looked at me,
and was smiling happily.

My father didn't think very highly
of me attending the free school.

I had kept him
at a distance somewhere.

But... at that moment,
seeing the expression on my father's face as he watched me,
my chest felt warm.

My father had been worried about me all along.
He didn't know what to do,
and was struggling.

I realized that.

During the piano performance,
I made mistakes and played too fast, but
I was able to play until the end.

I received a lot of applause.

I looked for my parents right after it ended, but
they had already left.

When I got home and said to my father,
"You came to see me,"

"Yeah. You did a good job."
That was all he said.

But with those words,
my father's feelings came through.
I was a little happy.

Children
are always watching their parents' expressions.

The expressions on my father's and mother's faces that day
remain as a precious memory even now.

Strangely, only their warm expressions
remain in my heart.

Looking back, that day
was the day I changed from "having fun"
to "I can take on challenges. It's even more fun."
And I think it was the day that not only changed me,

but also slightly changed my relationship with my family.

And a parent's love truly reaches their child.