The Punctuation of Resting from Oneself
Sometimes, I feel like I want to step down from the role of 'myself'.
Being someone's wife, mother, or perhaps a reliable friend. While that is something to be proud of, before you know it, you find yourself constantly standing tall to be the person that role demands.
Feeling like you want to 'rest from yourself' might be a small sign from your soul when that inner tension has reached its limit.
In a fleeting moment, there are times when I want to return to being 'just me,' for no one's sake and as no one in particular.
Every day, we live our lives unconsciously layering on multiple versions of 'ourselves.' While that is an important suit of armor, if you keep wearing it all the time, your breathing eventually becomes shallow from the weight.
To 'rest from yourself' is a little different from doing nothing. It is the act of redirecting all the antennas pointed outward back toward your own inner self.
For example, gazing at a single flower. Simply accepting the vividness of its color and the layering of its petals, without any logic.
Or, while playing your favorite jazz or rock music, staring intently at the steam rising from a warm cup of coffee.
There, you don't need words to show others, nor actions to be evaluated.
When you pick up a brush and apply color,
or when you trace the lines of a poem,
we descend into a quiet place, detached from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
There, yesterday's regrets and tomorrow's anxieties fade away like mist.
Only the 'comfort of being here, right now' remains.
Just as a cat curls up in a sunny spot, we too must find a place where our hearts can curl up.
Resting from yourself is not the same as indulging yourself.
It is a quiet 'punctuation mark' that allows us to laugh with our loved ones again tomorrow and continue weaving our own unique stories.
While watching the clouds drift outside the window, let's try shedding the role of 'myself' for just today and return to being 'just me'.
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Philosophical Reflection
Three stages for resting from yourself, likened to the 'metamorphosis of the spirit' preached by Nietzsche
1. The Rest of the Camel: Setting down the burden
This is the stage of continuing to walk through the desert, carrying the obligations of 'I must' and the expectations of others. Rest here begins by dumping all the baggage on your back onto the ground for once, and physically liberating your mind and body from the gravity of 'responsibility' that has been binding you.
2. The Rest of the Lion: The Rejection of Will
This is the stage where you transform accumulated fatigue into the power to say "NO." You declare "I will" against existing values and the "self that should be," rejecting environments that wear you down. This rest is not merely a standstill, but a sacred struggle to reclaim yourself.
3. The Rest of the Child: Innocent Creation
Finally, this is the stage where you forget the past and the future, and simply play in "this very moment." Even the guilt of resting yourself disappears, and you affirm the very act of existing. With a heart turned blank through oblivion, this is the deepest state of peace where you begin to freely draw the story of your new self.
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