The "Prenatal Memory" Taught to Me by My Son, a Gemstone Soap Master

Hello!
I am Hikaru,
a gemstone soap instructor.

Before I knew it, five months have already passed
since I started on note.

When you are busy with child-rearing every day,
time really flies by.

I am so happy to spend time
watching my children grow.

I am keenly feeling the importance
of putting my feelings into words.

・Anxieties about child-rearing
・Me, sometimes getting emotional
・Wishing I had multiple bodies

(If I start writing them all out, I won't be able to stop,
so I'll leave it at that, haha)

It has only been five months, but by looking back
at my notes,

I can remember the many
intense times I spent
with my children.

Since I started note,
I have come to feel not only my children's growth,
but my own growth as well.

And,

the fact that there are readers
who read my chaotic daily records.

That makes me happier than anything.

I've even received 300 likes,
and I have come to love this environment
where so many people support me.

(It is truly the emotional support
for me, exhausted by child-rearing)

In this article,
please let me introduce my son,
the leader of our household.

My son, who grabbed my curiosity,
explaining in detail what it was like inside the womb

Actually, my first-grade son
remembers the time he was in my womb,
and

the other day, he explained
prenatal memory to me.

According to my son...

I was in a very cramped, wrinkled place,
spending time in water,
and it was pitch black and painful.

I could always hear the same person's voice,
and when I thought I wanted to go outside,
the water started swirling like a whirlpool,
and as I spun around and came out headfirst,

at that moment, the person whose voice I always heard
said, "It's okay, let's do our best together."

Then, it suddenly became bright,
and when I got outside, it wasn't painful anymore.

The person whose voice I always heard was nearby,
and I realized that it was Mom's voice.

I thought it was Mom's voice, but
I didn't know that it was Mom and that I was inside her belly.
I didn't understand that.

...

Of course, I had never taught him
how babies are born or anything like that,
so

my son's explanation
felt incredibly credible.

During my son's birth,
I didn't make a sound, but in my head,

"Baby, it's okay,
let's do our best together"

I kept thinking that
and repeating it in my mind over and over.

So, I was truly surprised that my son
could hear my "inner voice."

After birth, his development was slow,
and I had some worries, but...

My son was slower than other children
to start talking
and to be potty trained,

so he didn't pass his health checkups,
and he was seen by a psychologist
until he graduated from kindergarten.

I was worried about his development when he was young, but
now,

my son gets attention from people
by talking about things like prenatal memories.

He is also a Gemstone Soap Master
who can teach students
how to make gemstone soap at our home studio.

He is a reliable older brother who
is interested in crafting things and
takes on any challenge without fear.

Through crafting,
he has a talent for coming up with his own ideas
and bringing them to life.

Also, my son is good at sports,
he is a master of the climbing pole at school,
and he is often a role model for his class.

When we are walking down the street,
he says to the workers at construction sites,

"Thank you for your hard work!
Thank you for everything you do!"

He never forgets to greet them,
or anyone else.

Even when we go shopping or out to eat,
he is a kind-hearted child who always
expresses his gratitude to the staff.

And the best part is,

"I'm happy when Mom is happy. But I'm sad when Mom is sad."

Hearing these words,

my daughter, who is two years younger,
"I feel the same way as my big brother,"
she says to me.

Until now,
even when I tried to make time for myself to enjoy,

"I have to spend my time
for the sake of my children"

I felt a sense of guilt
somewhere in my heart.

But,

that me enjoying myself
is also a happy thing
for my children

I have come to be able to think that,

and time to prioritize myself

(in my case, going to a KinKi Kids
concert, haha)

I've become able to enjoy it
without feeling guilty.

If Mom is happy,
the kids are happy too!

Thinking that way
really helped me relax.

A message from Mom
to my eldest son in the future when he turns 18

I turned 35 in August.

I'm writing down what kind of adult I want my son,
whom I rely on even though he's in first grade,
to become when he reaches adulthood.

I'll secretly compile it here on note.

To my son who has reached adulthood

I want you to keep developing your strengths and
what you love, and spend every day feeling excited.

When you're young, you might think that trying hard
or being earnest is

uncool or lame,
but

I want you to know the joy of
engaging earnestly in things.

And even when you're in your 30s,
please become an adult who can take on challenges
without being afraid of anything.

Instead of looking for reasons why you can't do something
or why it's impossible,

I want you to use your head to find
ways to make it possible.

Mom is also living every day
while looking for ways to make things possible.

Regret from doing something is better
than regret from not doing it!

I believe that being earnest about everything
is actually cooler.
I really think so.

It's definitely cooler to go for it and fail
even if it looks uncool!!!

Even when you become an adult,
don't be afraid of getting hurt,

No matter how old they get,
I hope they become adults who can stand in the batter's box
and keep taking on new challenges.

.....

Parenting is harsh and filled with anxiety,
and there are times when you just want to run away.

But even more than that,
just thinking about how my children will grow up in the future

is enough to make me
incredibly excited.

I truly look forward to seeing how my son has grown
by the time he is as old as I am now.

This time, I have put together my thoughts on my beloved
children (my son)
in this note.

Parenting is something where I also learn a lot from my children.

I would be happy if my parenting diary
could be of some help
to my readers.

Please look forward to my next post.