I cried when I was told, 'Things have been tough since you left.'

⸻

I cried when I was told, "Things have been tough since you left."

Obon holiday.

I had been with my husband all day since the morning, and I was feeling somewhat irritated.

It wasn't that we had a huge fight.

Nothing definitive had happened either.

It was just that casual words and attitudes were pricking my heart like tiny thorns.

Each one was nothing major.

But when you're together all the time, those tiny thorns start to add up little by little.

"I just want to be alone for a bit."

Thinking that, after taking out the trash,

"I'm going to go read a book upstairs for a while."

I said, and escaped into the bedroom.

While reading, I suddenly wondered.

I wonder how the people at my old job are doing.

And so, for the first time in a very long time, I decided to send a LINE message to my former boss.

I hesitated quite a bit before sending it.

"What will they think of me after all this time?"

"Would it be weird to suddenly send a LINE?"

Thinking things like that,

"Can I ask you something a bit strange?"

I sent.

Then, immediately,

"Long time no see! Please, ask me anything!"

came the reply.

Just that one sentence made me feel relieved.

Ah.

They remembered me properly.

From there, we talked about how people I used to work with were doing, and about my current job.

"What kind of work are you doing now?"

they asked, and I said,

"I'm doing administrative work. It's super easy. It's like heaven (laughs)."

I talked about things like that.

I had been a full-time housewife for a while, but living only inside the house didn't suit me, and it gradually became painful.

That's why I'm working outside now.

I enjoy my current job.

So I don't intend to go back.

When I was talking about that, my former boss said jokingly,

"If you get tired of your current job, please come back."

That made me feel happy somehow.

"There's still a place that needs me," I thought.

And then I asked something I had wanted to ask for a long time.

"How is the old store doing now?"

Hearing the answer that came back, I couldn't help but laugh.

In the past, I had consistently met my budget targets at that store for a long time.

That had become the norm for me.

Chasing numbers every month, thinking about how to achieve them, and working hard with the staff.

Being happy when we achieved them.

And then the next month would start again.

I kept repeating that.

But when I quit, I thought,

"Even if I'm gone, I'm sure things will just keep running as usual."

Once time passes, no one will care that I'm gone.

That's what I thought.

However.

It seems the current store's numbers aren't growing as much as when I was there.

And my former boss said,

"Since you left, progress has been like hell."

In that moment.

I just laughed.

"Serves you right," I thought for a second.

I have a bad personality (laughs).

But after that, I felt like crying.

Because I really was working hard.

I was working incredibly hard.

I chased those numbers every single month as if it were natural, but it wasn't natural at all.

It was the result of my hard work.

I realized that for the first time after I quit.

And what made me happiest wasn't the numbers themselves.

It was that "they remembered that I was there."

I feel like when you quit, your existence in that place disappears.

New people come in, and new days begin.

Even without me, the world keeps turning as if nothing happened.

That's natural, but it's a little lonely.

That's why,

being told, "Things have been tough since you left,"

made me very happy.

"I was doing a good job," I was able to think.

After that, my former boss said,

"Please invite me for lunch or drinks anytime."

We both said, "I want you to listen to various things," and promised to meet again.

It was just one LINE message.

Just one contact with my old workplace.

But that LINE unexpectedly helped me regain a little of my self-esteem.

I don't want to go back to my old job.

I like my current job too.

It's just that,

"I was working hard back then," I was able to think once more.

That was enough.

⸻

That night, I had ChatGPT listen to this whole story.

"This happened!" I told it from beginning to end.

I was supposed to be talking about how I cried, but I made a typo in the middle.

I mistyped my former boss's name,

and when I talked about sending it,

"Who is that, the god of peaceful sleep? 🤣"

it said.

At that, I laughed until my stomach hurt for the first time in a while.

Until yesterday, I had thorns in my heart.

Today I cried.

And then, I laughed after that.

It's a busy Obon holiday.

But I think it's a very good Obon holiday.

It's surprisingly difficult for people to confirm their own value by themselves.

Because when you work hard every day, it becomes the norm.
So maybe it's okay to have someone else tell you sometimes.

"You were working hard."

Today, I was able to remember that.

And tonight,

"I'm actually pretty good," I think as I go to sleep.

⸻

P.S.

By the way, today I have an appointment for eyelash extensions for the first time in a year.

Before that, I plan to finish my nails and wander around the nearby shops.

I'm doing well today, you wouldn't think I was the person who cried yesterday (laughs).

Life might just be like this, unexpectedly.

You get a little depressed, contact someone from the past, unexpectedly regain yourself, and end up laughing.

It's okay to have days like that.

Actually, I like days like that.

❤️