Episode 9: I'm not good at izakaya talk.
I love alcohol.
I enjoy all kinds of drinks, but personally, sake is my favorite.
The region where I live is known for its rice and sake, so even famous, delicious local sake can be found at regular liquor stores at the standard price.
Naturally, local izakayas also offer delicious local sake at reasonable prices, and I enjoy trying various local brews—familiar ones, new brands, and so on—while snacking on delicious dishes prepared by the chef.
However, even in such an enjoyable izakaya, when it comes to a large group chatting noisily, I often find it hard to hear the conversation, and sometimes I can no longer enjoy the atmosphere.
"Excuse me, three medium draft beers!"
"Three medium draft beers! Coming right up!"
This is a common exchange between staff and customers in an izakaya, but just because this is happening somewhere else in the bar doesn't mean the group conversation right in front of me stops.
Actually, for someone with auditory hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity, this is quite a tricky issue...
I am not good with words (my language comprehension ability is low), so the task of listening requires concentration.
Therefore, I turn on my ear switch, get into a listening posture, and engage in conversation.
At that exact moment, I hear other words from behind me, like "Three medium draft beers!"
It wouldn't be a problem if it happened just a little, but in a busy place, these exchanges between staff and customers are repeated over and over.
When this happens, the conversation in front of me overlaps with the exchanges behind me, so I have to increase my concentration even more to avoid missing what is being said right in front of me.
Then comes a vicious cycle... the more I increase my concentration, the more the background noise behind me enters my ears.
I get swallowed and drowned in a flood of sound, and I become unable to hear any of the information coming through my ears.
There is something called the "cocktail party effect."
It's the ability to select and listen to the information you need even in a noisy environment.
What I'm talking about right now is exactly this; I am weak at this.
The balance between auditory hypersensitivity and the cocktail party effect is not uniform; it varies from person to person.
Regarding the weakness of the cocktail party effect in people with auditory hypersensitivity, I have seen explanations that describe it as drawing in conversations, the roar of a crowd, and engine noises—all city sounds—on the same level.
There may be people like that, but my sensation is not that passive; it's a bit different.
The correct sensation is that when I actively try to listen, I become unable to select the necessary sounds (voices).
In my case, I am overwhelmingly visually dominant, so my ears are basically off-duty.
When visual information is sufficient, I completely ignore information from my ears because I don't need it.
However, although conversation involves gestures and facial expressions, it is fundamentally sound information, so I have to try to listen.
It is only here that the need to pick up necessary sounds arises, and the weakness of the cocktail party effect reveals itself.
Perhaps I became bad with words because the task of listening requires so much effort in the first place.
It might be more accurate to say that it's not that I have hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity because I am AS/ASD, but rather that I developed AS/ASD thinking (patterns) to adapt to having the characteristics of hypersensitivity/hyposensitivity.
Thinking about it this way, it makes sense why AS/ASD has many pattern characteristics.
Me, hanging my head in a corner of the izakaya...
Unfortunately, the people around me think things like, "They've had too much to drink again."
I'm sorry, next time please let it be a quiet, private Japanese-style room...
Old blog archive 2018/9/23