Episode 188 I want a different reason.
I have wondered what it is that triggers me to fall into a cycle of feeling unwell.
It is surely when my expectations are disrupted.
My eldest son, who will soon have a birthday, seems to want something for it.
But it was something "unexpected" to me.
"It's fine if it's used, but I want an iPhone 6..."
Huh, what did you say?
Why would my eldest son, who is an iPhone 7 user, dare to want an older model like the 6?
I would understand if he said the current models like the 8 or X... though they are too expensive for me to buy for him.
Why the 6?
And on top of that, he says he doesn't need a mobile contract... I don't understand.
In total confusion, I ask my eldest son again.
I want a justifiable reason for why my eldest son wants a 6... it hurts that I cannot understand why he would dare to choose an old model without a mobile contract.
After my eldest son gets annoyed and retreats to his room as if running away, I am rebuked by my partner as usual, saying, "Why do you grill him like that?"
I have no intention of denying people who have different opinions from me.
But I want to know why they have such opinions.
That is why I want to ask the other person the reason why they are different from me.
If he were saying he wanted to use a good product for a long time, I could understand that direction, but in a field like IT equipment—especially smartphones—where new models come out one after another and support for old models is discontinued, why dare to choose an old model...
That is all I want to know.
In my plans, there is no such thing as regressing to an old smartphone model.
I did it again.
I got hung up on the same thing again.
When I realize my own "failure" and get depressed by myself, my mood drops and I sink.
I want to be alone because I don't want to project a depressed atmosphere, but I am hit with, "There you go sulking by yourself again."
And so I am depressed alone, and my partner is left behind alone, a "Cassandra".
I wish I could just let it go when someone thinks differently from me by saying, "I see."
I am disappointed in myself for not being able to think "I see" when I cannot understand the reason why their opinion is different from mine.
My eldest son's explanation seems to be that he got a smartphone case of his favorite character, but it was for a 6, so he wanted to use the 6 as an iPod without setting up a mobile connection...
Once I know the reason, it is a trivial matter.
However, this "heavy atmosphere" that flows between my partner and me will not disappear for a while.
If I could improve this, it would be "very easy," but I cannot seem to get this right.
Old Blog Archive 2019/3/21