For days when you don't know where to start | I re-buttoned one button
Hello, this is Yukino.
The morning was running a little late.
My head was already lined up with today's schedule, and my hands were moving on their own.
As I threw on my jacket, I tried to fasten the button on the cuff.
It wouldn't go in.
I tried to push it through again.
It still wouldn't go in.
The more I panicked, the less my fingertips would move properly.
The more I tried to force it into the hole, the more the fabric pulled and the hole got smaller.
There was a faint pressure building around my temples.
No matter how many times I tried, it wouldn't go in.
I stopped my hand for a moment.
I pinched the fabric and loosened it just a little.
Then, it slipped right in.
The tension that had been lingering around my wrist vanished in that instant.
I felt as if the air in the entryway had opened up just a little bit.

Even though I was in a hurry, stopping was faster.
My fingertips had known that before I did.
I thought, it wasn't just about the button.
That was something I had vaguely realized for a long time.
When I was struggling with my mental and physical balance, the same things would cycle through my head at night.
Was that reply correct?
How should I act tomorrow?
I have to change something.
I thought that continuing to think was the same as moving forward.
I thought that keeping my hands moving, never stopping, was proof of sincerity.
But I couldn't sleep while thinking, morning came while I was thinking, and I was back in the same place again.
The more I tried to force it into the hole, the more the fabric was pulled.
I was doing the same thing as that button.
It was much later that I learned how to stop.
Stopping was not the same as giving up.
It was just a tiny movement, like pinching and loosening fabric.
When I realized that it was my own hand that had been applying the pressure, and that it was I who had been shrinking the fabric, the tension in my temples eased just a little.
The moment I loosened the fabric, it slipped right in.
It was my hand that had been trying to move that was applying the force.
It was just a few seconds before leaving the house.
Yuki's

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