Afterword: 'The Fire-Playing Rabbit Does Not Laugh'

There is a phrase: 'the one'.

The 'one' is often spoken of as a fantasy—love at first sight, a perfect alignment of wavelengths, or a complete overlap of values.

In reality, perhaps the 'one' is simply someone who, at some turning point, inspired us and helped us look forward.

I wanted to write about that.
Watching the news and the internet, observing the state of society, I thought, 'This is what I want to write about right now,' and thus the protagonists, Ruri Satomi and Ayuka Shirogaoka, were born.
High academic background, and money too. They possess beauty, too. Yet, they are women who find it difficult to grasp the happiness society points toward.

Like in a Sheena Ringo music video, I wanted to deliver a kick that is both beautiful and painful. I wrote this with the feeling of stepping into the very center of the reader's heart with a high heel.

The things that bind them.
Those who remain bound. Those who have escaped what bound them.
Why are people who seem so different at first glance drawn to each other? I intended to dig deep and weave that into the story.

As I moved Ruri and Ayuka through the story,
I had the sensation that my own helpless emotions and the weaknesses I never want to show anyone were being turned into words.

Ayuka seems open and reckless, but she is actually very delicate. She is a woman who knows how to protect herself.
Ruri is someone who pretends not to notice, yet is capable of perceiving the pain of others—a person who possesses such strength and weakness simultaneously.

While writing, I often felt that both of them were my own alter egos.

Ayuka is not just a girl from a good family.

She experiences divorce and miscarriage, and while carrying a despair so deep she wants to disappear, she continues to live.
Her seeking peace in Ruri is a cry for someone to cling to, and also a prayer to be forgiven.
I depicted the reality of self-denial, the insecurity of not being taken seriously by men, and the lack of self-confidence.

Even so, the pink nail polish, the rubber sandals, and the chain-smoking are a desperate way of living, trying to maintain appearances even when wounded.

What exists in the story is the contradiction and conflict of personality, and human nature. And, the sharing of pain where readers can pause and think, 'I understand...'

'The Fire-Playing Rabbit Does Not Laugh' may seem like a romance novel, but it is truly a story about adults who wish to be loved.

Those who have been hurt by words from their parents.
Those who wanted to cherish someone but couldn't love them well.
Those who like someone but want to be alone.

I hope you can find the outline of yourself somewhere in this story.

There may be very few of you,
but if there is anyone who has read until the end,
I want to say 'thank you' from the bottom of my heart.

And if I may wish,
I hope that through this story,a time comes when you remember someone, or can forgive yourself just a little.

I am glad I was able to write a story about fire-playing rabbits touching warmth.