When Momomaro Gets Frustrated

I just can't wrap my head around it.

I am relatively quick to make decisions and quick to act.
I'm restless, moving around while I think.
For low-risk situations, I'm faster than anyone else, deciding on a menu at a restaurant and waiting for others.

However, when the stakes are high, my brain keeps running simulations, and my resolve weakens.
People call that indecisive.

Self-help advice out there positions making snap decisions as a virtue and labels it as positive.
I worry that this ignores the case-by-case nature of things and is just sowing the seeds of failure.

Even someone as careless as me becomes cautious.
When I can't decide, I get criticized for being heavy, gloomy, or lacking decisiveness, which makes me shrink away.

On top of that, when I'm forced to clean up the mess left by some shallow-thinking 'positive' person who says, 'Oops, I messed up, tee-hee,' I can't shake the feeling of being a victim.
I feel like smashing the bowl I'm forced to use to collect the wreckage left by irresponsible people.

There's something about the nuance that 'shallow thinking equals positive' sounds light and good, while 'deliberation equals negative' sounds heavy and burdensome, that just feels wrong to me.

Careful thinking is a sign of depth and thoroughness, so why is it dissed as 'overthinking'?
The societal trend that 'deciding quickly equals cool' is just a bit too impatient.

Deliberation means properly facing things and deserves more respect, but somehow, this whole area just leaves me feeling really uneasy.

In situations where 'Oops, I messed up, tee-hee' isn't enough—for example, if it's a light topic like choosing between a cheeseburger or a chicken tatsuta—you can recover.

When interpersonal relationships, costs, and responsibilities are involved, it's a different story.
It's different, isn't it?

Trust can be destroyed in a second, but it takes time to regain, and the costs and time spent can never be recovered.

If deliberation is an important process for protecting things that cannot be recovered, why is it looked down upon as overthinking?

It's tied to the trend of 'shallow thinking equals positive' and 'deliberation equals negative,' but I wonder what the core of my unease really is.

People can't make decisions that are completely rational; various biases, emotions, and social pressures overlap.
Yet, there's this trend that 'making a snap decision equals cool.' Remembering it makes me frustrated.

People find it a hassle to think in complex situations, so they start relying on rules of thumb and intuition.
For low-risk choices like cheeseburger vs. chicken tatsuta, intuition is enough to say, 'Well, this is fine.' This is one of the reasons it leads to 'shallow thinking equals positive.'

The image that deciding quickly equals being efficient and confident is socially reinforced, isn't it?

On the other hand, deliberation uses energy and takes time.
In situations where the cost of failure is high, like interpersonal relationships, costs, and trust, this is essential, right?

But deliberation gets misunderstood as being indecisive or overthinking.

Why is that!
Is it because society is obsessed with speed?

Modern times, with cultures like instant replies and the push for agile in business, make speed seem like a virtue.
Cautious people get labeled as slow or heavy.

Trust cannot be recovered, and time cannot be turned back; isn't that the risk assessment of decision-making?

I feel like people have a stronger desire to avoid loss than to gain something...

So, in situations with heavy responsibility—for example, interpersonal relationships, work projects, or money—people try to deliberate to make a choice that won't fail.

I defend myself by calling it rational behavior!

Especially when there's a culture of reading the room or making snap decisions to lighten the mood, if I carefully consider things and suggest,
“There’s a risk here…,”
I get treated like I’m being too serious or heavy. Is this influenced by a group mindset that wants to brush off values and failures with a “whatever, it’s fine” attitude?

Please evaluate “careful consideration” as “professional” (lol).

What is the core of my frustration?

Maybe it’s that the value of careful consideration is being underestimated.
Careful consideration has intent because I want to reduce uncertainty and prevent long-term losses.
It’s not just because I’m not smart.

Yet, the bias that speed equals justice or that being lighthearted equals being cool makes careful consideration seem heavy or negative.

It feels like responsible people who try to protect things that can’t be recovered, like trust or costs, are getting the short end of the stick. It’s unfair, isn’t it?

Even if I argue that, though... how should I face it?

That’s it! I’ll take pride in my careful consideration.
Instead of thinking I’m overthinking, I’ll affirm that I’m properly engaging with things.
Not by someone else’s yardstick, but by my own.

I’ll use it selectively depending on the situation: breeze through low-risk scenarios like choosing a Chicken Tatsuta, and deliberate thoroughly when trust and responsibility are involved.

To ensure others don’t find my careful consideration heavy,
“I thought about it carefully and this is what I came up with,”
if I explain the logic with a light tone, will it be easier to accept? What do you think? How about that?

This was just my process from feeling anger to finding a resolution,
but that was a pretty wild theory, wasn't it?

#SoraNekono
#AngerFestival