The Trend of Walls Getting Thicker Lately

Sanbagarasu-san I am participating in your project.

As a self-introduction or a habit, I refer to myself as
'marginal village,' 'bottom-tier,' or 'on the road to being a loser,' but
this is not humility, but a way to keep people at bay.

Personal space has both physical and psychological distance,
and while the physical is easy to see,
the psychological is harder to grasp.

Instead of an invisible boundary line, I have
a moat expressed in words and a wall made of iron plates.
I either push people away or retreat into my shell.

It's simply that I don't like it,
having people enter my space or entering theirs.

Getting hurt or not, the presence of betrayal, mutual understanding—
it's not about being mentally unstable,
but in human relationships, I'm fine with just the superficial, pleasant parts.

I can only have conversations that don't quite click.
It would be a nuisance if I were to become dependent on someone.

Because I have these walls, I am aware that I am hurting the other person.

For the reasons above,
both in the past and in the future,
I will never ask, 'Do you love me?'
I can state it clearly: I won't ask.
I'm middle-aged and only getting older, so it's irrelevant anyway.

I don't want to do anything that feels like forcing someone to say they love me.

Even if I were to lead someone to an answer in a sweet situation,
with someone like Momomaro, sweet talk is practically non-existent.

'Do you love me?'
Is it some kind of ritual or etiquette?
I've been asked that like it's a standard item.

I think, 'They don't trust me,'
and I feel disappointed that they can't tell without asking,
and I wonder if they just want to hear it to feel secure.
'How troublesome...' I swallow a sigh.

When was it?
When I was asked, 'Do you love me?'
I replied, 'What's the point of asking that?'
I was probably stone-faced when I said it.
'Momo-chan, you're cold.'

I'm a perfect match for a total mental case, aren't I...
I stopped reaching out to them.
They were a good person, but
I steered the relationship toward a natural end.

The other person might have thought it was a waste of time
to date a woman who wouldn't say if she loved them.

People who can't understand through actions won't understand through words.
For someone who craves affection like a disease,
even if I protected them with my life, it wouldn't get through.
If they call me 'cold' no matter how much I do for them,
then so be it.

I protect my own personal space myself.
I'm more afraid of living people than ghosts.
That's why I don't ask if they love me.

✨Sanbagarasu-san✨
Thank you very much for letting me participate in your project.
I couldn't write anything sweet and melting.
I have read all the participants' articles.
I think I've figured out the tendencies of people who ask, 'Do you love me?' lol

Sanba-san, thank you.

#Sanbagarasu-san
#DoYouLoveMe