My Father's Last Words and 'The Spring That Doesn't Bloom'—The Kindness That Reached Me as a Teenager🍀

Hello, this is Yorimaru.

I am currently a member of Saka.-sensei's membership,
'Saka.'s Classroom.'

I am participating in a project within that group,
'Let's pass the baton of spring for the new fiscal year!'

What is the Spring Baton Relay?

Click here for details↓

And now, it is my turn as the 38th runner.
First, I would like to introduce the article by the 37th runner, Aya Mizuki.

Aya Mizuki's article is here↓

'A spring that hasn't bloomed yet' was also, properly, spring.

I was struck by these words in Mizuki-san's article:
'Full-bloomed cherry blossoms are the correct answer for spring.'

I used to think that, but
'the time before blooming' is actually spring too.
And—

there are springs that don't bloom.

But that doesn't mean they 'don't bloom,' it means they are 'before blooming.'
Reading these words, and because it is spring,

I remembered myself back then.

The last spring with my father

This is a story from when I was 18 years old.

I received word that my father, who loved to drink, had collapsed at his post while working away from home due to severe cirrhosis and hepatitis B.

He returned here and was immediately hospitalized.

Thanks to that, his condition recovered for a time,
enough to be discharged.

During that time, my father and mother went
cherry blossom viewing just the two of them.

At the time, after dropping out of high school due to bullying,
I was living at a hotel and working
as an apprentice chef.

However, the workplace was very strict,
I was hit, kicked, and had knives thrown at me...

By the time a year had passed, I spent my days
complaining that I wanted to quit or that it was too hard.

Because of that, the topic of conversation when they went to see the cherry blossoms was apparently mostly about worrying about me.

And just when we thought he was on the road to recovery,
his condition changed suddenly.

'He's going to be fine'

My father, whose health had deteriorated again,
spent his days unable to hold a conversation due to the strong medication.

One day, my father, who shouldn't have been able to speak,
suddenly said this to me as I was nursing him:

'What are you doing? I'm fine, so go to work. You really don't need to worry.'

Even in this state, he was worried about me,
and I was so filled with joy and kindness
that I almost burst into tears.

I said 'I understand' and pretended to go to work,
and went to tell my mother, who was nearby,
that my father was talking energetically.

After that, I was alone with him in the hospital room.

'I wonder if he's gotten a little better...'
Just as I thought that,

the next day—my father passed away.

I asked my mother later
what he had said to her at that time.

Then she said,

'He's going to be fine.
No matter what happens, he can overcome it,
and the hardships he's facing now will pay off someday.
There will definitely come a time when he blooms. So you can rest easy.'

That's what he had said.

Hearing that, I couldn't stop the tears.
When I quit high school, and when work wasn't going well,
I wonder how much I worried them.

Not a spring that doesn't bloom, but a spring preparing to bloom

Since then, I have experienced changing jobs, marriage, depression, divorce,
bankruptcy..., and remarriage.
I have truly experienced many things.

I don't know if I can say I have 'bloomed' yet.
But now, I can accept my father's words like this:

It wasn't a 'spring that doesn't bloom,'
it was a 'spring that was preparing to bloom.'

It doesn't have to bloom all at once.

I will slowly put down roots,
keep my father's words in my heart,
and continue to move forward today.

And before I know it,
I believe that my own 'spring' will bloom—.

'To you who are currently halfway there.
The cherry blossoms of hope are blooming somewhere.
And perhaps the plum blossoms are blooming quietly.'

I would like to end with these words from Mizuki-san.

To the next baton

What I received from this theme was
a message that 'it's okay if you can't bloom right now.'

Every experience will surely become your strength and bloom.
Like the cherry blossoms in spring, in full bloom.

What is spring like for you?
What thoughts did you have during the time you weren't blooming?

It got a little sentimental, but the next baton goes to
a blogger, Web writer, and home cafe enthusiast,Yama-san🌸

Her future dream is to open a reservation-only 'Yama's Home Cafe' at her house.

She is taking on the challenge of a healthy and fun diet through open-faced sandwiches that consider nutritional balance.

From 77kg to 66kg,
a diet she has been working on steadily for over 2 years.

Believing that it will become hope or a hint for someone,
she is continuing it today—

along with body composition data,
she is posting her realistic daily records on note.

Yama-san's article is here↓

Finally

Thank you
for reading until the end.

To those who feel like they "haven't bloomed yet,"
I hope the "plum blossom"
that is quietly blooming somewhere reaches you.🍀

🍀Notice

What kind of strength did I gain during this spring of preparation for blooming?—
I am slowly writing about it in my daily notes.
Please feel free to take a look.

My profile (site map) is here↓