From the moment I was told 'You make me feel at ease,' it was no longer a romance

"Yorimaru-san, you're so kind."

Every time I was told that at work,
the old me was a little happy.

Being asked for advice.
Being relied upon.
Being spoken to.

That's why,
I thought we were getting closer.

But I was wrong.

At some point,
only the casual conversation started to decrease.

I was only spoken to
when it was about work.

Even LINE messages were just work consultations or business communications.
It wasn't that I was disliked.

In fact, I was being thanked.

"I feel at ease with you."
"Can I ask for your advice again?"

But before I knew it,
the vibe of me being a "man" had completely vanished.

Back then,
I thought that if I was kind, we would get closer.

Listening to their worries.
Answering properly.
Not denying the other person.

But looking back now,
what I was doing

wasn't "romance",
it was "problem solving."

Helping a woman immediately when she's in trouble.
Providing answers instead of being there for her anxiety.

The more I repeated that,
the more I became a "safe person."

But at the same time,
the tension of being a "man" just faded away.

From the woman's perspective,
it's not that she dislikes you.

In fact, she feels at ease and finds it easy to talk to you.
That's why she doesn't say anything.

Just quietly,

・Casual conversation decreases
・Only talks about work
・Private life doesn't expand
・But the relationship keeps getting better

That's why it's hard for the man to notice.

"I'm not disliked, but things aren't progressing."
It becomes the most painful state.

The old me
thought that kind people were popular.

But in reality, it was different.

Just being "kind"
doesn't advance a romance.

In fact,
if you use kindness the wrong way,

the romantic feeling quietly disappears.

If right now,

・You get asked for advice but there's no progress
・It ends with "I feel at ease"
・You aren't disliked but it doesn't turn into a romance

If you are in that state,

you might have entered the position of a "convenient man."

And the troublesome part is that when you enter that position,
the man has almost no awareness of it.

Back then,
I thought that if I increased my kindness, I could get closer.

But in reality, it was the opposite.

By the time I became a "person who makes them feel at ease,"
I was no longer seen as a "man."

I wrote how to get out of that here↓