Fish attack each other in small tanks; it is no wonder children do the same in cramped classrooms. Can social skills really be fostered at school?

"If you don't go to school, you won't develop social skills."
This is one of the reasons parents feel anxious and feel they must force their children to go to school when they refuse or are reluctant to attend. But can social skills really be fostered in a classroom?

What I acquired in elementary and junior high school classrooms was not so much social skills as it was survival tactics.
・Going along with the crowd
・Not having my own opinions
・Turning a blind eye to bullying
・Endless patience and endurance
・Acting based on reading the room
・Closing my eyes to things that are wrong instead of speaking up
These are all worthless things.

Later on, these became shackles when I tried to live as my true self. I spent time and energy removing them one by one. It would have been better not to have acquired them in the first place.

I doubt how much social skill can be learned within the closed, highly homogeneous human relationships of a classroom. Perhaps it is possible depending on the combination of teachers and students. In a classroom consisting of one adult and 30 to 40 children who are forced to spend long hours in close proximity, I think peer pressure is likely to arise.

There is an article by Sakana-kun (To you who are being bullied) titled "Let's go out to the wide ocean."

Asahi Shimbun DigitalYou can read the full text at.

This passage is famous. I focused on the following part.

For example, opaleyes swim happily in schools in the ocean. When I put them together in a small tank, they started to ostracize and attack one fish. I felt sorry for the injured fish, so I moved it to another tank. Then, the remaining opaleyes started bullying another fish. Even when I rescued it, another victim would appear. Even if I removed the bully from the tank, a new bully would appear.
This doesn't happen in the wide ocean, but for some reason, bullying starts when they are confined to a small world.

If we re-read this in terms of what happens in a classroom, it looks like this:

If you cram children together in a small classroom, they will start to ostracize and attack one person. Even if you evacuate that child to another place, another person will become the target of bullying. Even if you remove the bully from the classroom, another bully will be born.

I think this means thatthere is a structure in the classroom that makes bullying likely to occur. Rather than saying a specific child is bad, if you cram a large number of people—that is, 30 to 40 people—into a small classroom and force them to spend long hours in close proximity, I think bullying is structurally likely to occur.

Now, I don't mean to criticize Sakana-kun, but children have no choice but to follow the rules decided by adults and have no freedom to leave the classroom. Therefore, it is the duty of adults to make the classroom a more airy place.

There are various ways to do this, such as having at least 20-student classes, a multiple-teacher system, or eliminating the class system. Closed human relationships with no place to escape are stressful even for adults. It is also called a village society. In fact, there is talk that bullying is less common in universities where there are almost no classes. Circles or laboratories with close human relationships are a different matter.

Not just for fish,I think humans also develop healthier human relationships when they spend time in an environment like the wide ocean. Since current schools, especially elementary and junior high schools, are not like that as a whole, it is no wonder that children feel suffocated.

Because parents bear the responsibility of raising their children, they may feel anxious that"If you don't go to school, you won't acquire social skills"and may try to force their child to go to school. My father also said, "If you don't go to school, you won't become a decent human being." However, because I forced myself to go to school, damage accumulated in my autonomic nervous system and other areas, which became a heavy burden. People who were crushed by being forced to go to school do not appear in public. We must be careful of survivor bias.

Under the current situation, going to school does not necessarily mean that social skills will be fostered, and in fact, one may be forced to acquire superficial survival tactics. Schools vary widely, and depending on the combination of teachers and students, it might be possible to foster social skills in a good atmosphere. I know children who are happily attending public elementary schools. However, if you think it is "only" school, you will hit a dead end if something happens, so I think it is better to look for other candidates. The number of places is still limited, but they are gradually increasing.

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Self-introduction

My brain's fire alarm has stopped "malfunctioning"
https://note.com/homoludens3839/n/nf4b02f181c00

It was the day of my monthly therapy. Fear, and more fear. There is a reason why I cannot move.
https://note.com/homoludens3839/n/n20512360fecd

Magazine "Trajectory of Recovery"
https://note.com/homoludens3839/m/m756d41413d0f