Can you control both a mother's anger and a child's psychology?!

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This article is a look at the sweaty, tearful, and gritty daily life of raising a child—from early childhood—by a mother whose son was accepted into a high school with a deviation score of 70.
I also introduce books by teachers that I referred to at various times as my child grew. While using the opinions of the teachers I introduce as a reference, I hope to write about the episodes we overcame in a way that is interesting, sometimes bittersweet, and perhaps a little poignant.
Thank you for your support.

How to scold while controlling your emotions

In our house, there was even a fourth time, and at those times, I had my husband do the yelling.

For Yu-kun, who didn't have much contact with him
(He was never home from 7:00 AM to 9:00 PM, so it was almost like a single-mother household)

I think my husband's yelling must have been quite scary.

But I think my husband only actually yelled like that about twice.

Because the fourth time was just too scary...

A handprint from Mom on Yu-kun's bottom

When I look for the memory of when I scolded Yu-kun the most in my life so far...

I guess it has to be this one

I believe that was right after we came to Osaka.

I think it was the year Yu-kun turned five.

There was a puddle on the bathroom floor.

Yes, it wasn't water, it was pee.

Yes, it was Yu-kun's pee.

I called Yu-kun over

Me: Yu-kun, what is this?

Yu-kun: I don't know, but it might be my pee (>_<)

Me: How do you usually do it?

Yu-kun: Like this... (the so-called stand-up style) (^ ^)

Me: Then why does it end up like this?

If you do it again, I'm going to be really mad, so make sure you pee properly

Yu-kun: Okay

The next day, that puddle was there again... no, it was pee

Me: Yu-kun, what is this?

Yu-kun: My pee (with a more straightforward attitude than yesterday (; ;))

Me: Do you know why? You're supposed to hold your penis, right? (in a much stronger tone)

If you do it again, I'm going to spank you

Make sure you hold your penis while you do it

Yu-kun: With a face about to cry, okay (>_<)

The next day again

Yu-kun is OUT! Ta-da (a sound like a Shocker from Kamen Rider appearing with a paper fan rings in my head (>_<) today is punishment time)

Me: (With a scary look on my face) Show me your bottom

A pretty serious smack!!
(A bright red handprint clearly visible on his bottom)

Never do that again, okay?

If you can't do that, I'll have your father scold you.

Yu-kun cried his heart out for the first time in a while, and I think he reflected on his actions.

After that, there were no more puddles on the bathroom floor.

Thinking back on it now, I think he was trying to get my attention as a five-year-old.

I also think it might have been a sort of rebellious phase.

But I believe that being able to get angry in stages

was a good thing in the end.

If I hadn't known about this book, I might have resorted to physical discipline right from the start (-_-;)

The effect of saying things while watching TV?!

My husband is a pickier eater than I am.

He especially doesn't like cream stews or gratin-style dishes.

According to him, he doesn't like things that smell like milk or butter, he says.

One day, when we went back to my husband's parents' house,

my mother-in-law said the exact same line to me.

I don't like things that smell like milk or butter ( ﾟДﾟ)

Ah, I realized that this is how people are influenced

by the people they love.

And then I remembered words that influenced me in my childhood.

Even though those words weren't directed at me,

even though they were said while looking away,

why am I so influenced by them?

I might have actually felt favorably toward that person.

If they had said it to my face,

I might have ended up hating them,

but because they said it while looking away,

I thought, 'Oh, so this person says things like that.'

But I thought, 'Maybe I should act in a way that won't make them dislike me...'

Just by thinking that, I was able to let it slide, but

it was stuck somewhere in my heart,

and as a result of it spinning around in my head over and over,

I ended up internalizing it into my own way of thinking ( ;∀;)

So, the something I want Yu-kun to become

I decided to say it while watching TV, not face-to-face (^^)

In a sense, this might have been a scheme of mine.

If I try it and it doesn't influence Yu-kun, that's fine too,

and if it does, then I'll know he was influenced by me... (^^;)

What I actually did (at the time, Yu-kun was about 7 years old) was

one day while watching TV

during a documentary program of some kind

about a young girl forced to live as a refugee

who couldn't read or write and spent her days sorting through trash to survive—

while watching this close-coverage program, I muttered,

Ah, it's so sad for children in countries where they can't study.

If you can't study, you'll only ever be given jobs like this,

and you'll be taken advantage of your whole life. How sad.

They have no other way to do things, so they have no choice but to stay there, don't they?

It's a blessing to be born in Japan and be able to study.

Just being born in Japan means there are so many things we are blessed with.

I tried saying things like that.

Also, while watching shows like '○○ Shocking News'

where they feature people who were obese and lost dozens of kilograms,

It must be tough to be overweight. In a way, parents who let their kids eat this much might be abusive.

I wonder why no one stopped them before it got this bad.

I would say things like that (>_<)

Now, several years later, Yu-kun seems to want to avoid getting fat himself.

On days when I wake up early, I go jogging on my own

and I do muscle training without anyone telling me to.

I tend to say a bit too much to my younger sister, who has trouble getting down to studying,

so I reflect on the fact that I've let it sink in too much (-_-;)

Maybe I went a little too far.

If you decide to use this as a reference, please be careful with the degree to which you apply it m(__)m

I found out later that this is apparently called
indirect communication (*^-^*)

But this is Iruko, who will probably end up doing thisscheme again (*^^)v