Failure is not evil; blaming yourself for failing is

When I suddenly recall a 'scene where I failed,' I think 'Ugh!' and feel unpleasant.

Then I blame myself, thinking 'I'm so gross,' and feel depressed.

I often repeat this cycle of 'remembering, blaming myself, and feeling depressed.'

Why do I keep doing this loop?

I didn't want to do this loop, so I avoided taking on challenges.

However, if you don't take on challenges, you won't grow.
If you don't take on challenges, every day is mundane and boring.

Therefore, the arrogance of wanting to take on challenges but not wanting to fail appears.

How can I become able to take on challenges?

Thinking about it, 'taking on a challenge' did not mean 'getting hurt' in the first place.

Assumptions like 'failure is evil' and 'I have no value if I fail' were what were hurting me.

I am not giving myself permission to 'fail.'
I am completely denying myself the ability to 'make mistakes.'

My pride, hurdles, and expectations are too high.

I have to get 98 out of 100 points.
If I get 97 or less, I have no value as a person.
That is what I was unconsciously imposing on myself.

When that happens, you become intimidated, tense, and strained, and you cannot achieve the results you want.
That is why you fail every time and blame yourself.

And then you shy away from taking on challenges.

Give yourself permission to fail.
Give yourself permission to be embarrassed.
Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

People around you might make fun of you.
They might perhaps forgive you.
But there is no guarantee that they definitely will.

The only person who can definitely grant you forgiveness is yourself.

That is precisely why, just the fact that you 'took on the challenge' is enough.
If you do not take on challenges, reality will not change.
You used your energy to try to change reality.
That alone is enough reason to praise yourself.

'I did what I thought of'
'I did what I wanted to do'
That alone is refreshing.