The Origin of My Desire to Become a Teacher

The reason I aimed to become a childcare worker

The first time I thought, "I want to be a kindergarten teacher," was when I was in my middle year of kindergarten.

The day of the graduation ceremony.

I still remember how well the teacher played the piano there.

To my young self, the sight of that teacher playing the piano in front of the children looked so wonderful.

"I want to be a wonderful teacher like her, too."

That was my first spark.

After I got home, I told my mother,

"I want to learn piano!"

I told her.

I wanted to be able to play the piano so I could become a kindergarten teacher.

I think that was the feeling I had.

In the end, when I entered elementary school, I joined the basketball team and gradually became so busy that I could only continue piano until the fifth grade.

Even so, for some reason, the desire to become a kindergarten teacher always remained somewhere in my heart.

When I was little, before going to bed, I would face the Buddhist altar in my grandmother's room and say,

"Please let me become a kindergarten teacher."

I would talk to it.

Thinking about it now, it feels a bit strange.

Back then, I shouldn't have even really understood what kind of job a kindergarten teacher was.

Even so, I always remembered how my heart was moved by that teacher's presence.

However, life did not proceed in such a straight line.

As I grew from elementary school to junior high and then high school,

there were times when I thought,

"I want to be a basketball player."

And there were also times when I thought,

"I want to be an accountant."

Every time I experienced something new, what I wanted to do changed as well.

When I became a high school student and finally had to decide on my career path,

I once again began to think,

"What is it that I really want to do after all?"

"What kind of person do I want to become?"

I started to ponder these questions.

Looking back, I realized that I had always enjoyed conveying things to others.

When teaching someone something,

I would think about how to explain it so it would be easy to understand,

or think about what words to choose so that they would resonate with that person.

And, because of what I had thought through and conveyed,

the other person would feel a little more at ease,

or be happy,

or realize something new.

Feeling like I had grown a little.

Those were the moments that made me incredibly happy.

But that wasn't about teaching school subjects.

Rather than teaching, 'The answer to this problem is this,'

it was about how that person lives their life.

How they think.

How they interact with others.

I think I felt a great joy in conveying things related to a person's 'humanity' and thinking about those things together.

That was when my childhood memories began to connect little by little.

'Perhaps what I want to do hasn't changed since long ago.'

That is what I thought.

Connecting with people.

Being involved in someone's growth.

Creating opportunities for that person to realize something or take a step forward.

I realized that those are the things I want to cherish.

And so, I decided to aim to become a childcare worker.

The teacher playing the piano whom I saw at the graduation ceremony when I was in the middle class.

That day I thought, 'I want to become a wonderful teacher like this.'

Many years have passed since then, I've had various dreams, and I've worried about many things.

Even so, what I returned to in the end was the 'teacher' that my younger self had admired on that day.

Back then, I didn't know anything yet.

I didn't know how demanding the job of a teacher was,

how difficult it was to face children,

or that there would be many days when I would struggle myself.

I knew nothing at all.

Even so,

"I want to be this kind of teacher."

That feeling alone still remains within me today.

And now, I am working as a childcare worker.

I wonder if I have become the "wonderful teacher" I envisioned back then.

Thinking about things like that, I am spending time with the children again today.

There are still many things that make me hesitate and worry.

But, as I continue to interact with the children and grow myself,

I hope that one day I can get closer to the teacher I admired back then.🌷