I Used to Hate Books [28-Year-Old Thought Memo] ①
Good evening. This is Hohoemi. Thank you for your hard work today!
As I wrote in the title, I used to hate books.
I liked encyclopedias and dictionaries well enough, but I hated reading novels, essays, critiques—basically any kind of prose. I just found it tedious to read uninteresting texts forced upon me in Japanese class. Classics were practically a foreign language. I never had any interest in the idea that the nuances only felt by modern Kyoto residents should be considered general education, and I always thought it was a hassle.
However, I didn't have the sense that I was bad at reading. Japanese was actually my best subject. I could grasp what was written and understand the author's intent.
When it came to tests, it felt less like I was "reading the text" and more like I was solving questions while thinking, "The person who wrote this question probably wants this answer."
Despite thinking that reading was a chore, I was strangely good at Japanese, so my high school teacher told me, "Why don't you become a Japanese teacher?" and I ended up entering the Faculty of Letters. Everyone around me was, naturally (?), a book lover or at least interested in books. I clearly felt that my attitude toward writing and books was different from those around me.
"If they would just state the conclusion clearly, it would be enough to get the point across, but they are so long-winded."
That was my argument. I think now that this is a different vector from literature, and perhaps closer to something like mathematics.
So why does literature exist, which is "long-winded" and "tedious"?
I think now that it is because the world we live in, society, and the hearts and emotions of each individual are not simple structures that can produce a "neat conclusion."
That is why literature is needed, and why anyone can write literature.
If it can be said neatly, the conclusion alone is sufficient.
Because it cannot be said neatly, we end up weaving words together. And at 28, I believe that is what becomes literature.
This has become long, so I will write the rest later.
Thank you for reading!
Have sweet dreams 🎵