As My Heart Leads...

Today, October 11th, is the anniversary of my grandmother's passing.
Every year, I try to go to the shrine on this day as much as I can, but perhaps there are more years where I can't quite make it happen as I'd like.

This year, it fell on a Saturday, which overlapped with a workday, so I thought, 'I'll wake up a little early in the morning, go to the shrine, and then head to work.'

I woke up feeling refreshed in the morning, put on my makeup, and everything was going smoothly, but since it was also trash day, I decided to do some cleaning on the balcony—something I don't usually do—to collect some dust (lol), and before I knew it, it was the usual time.

Ah, I can't go to the shrine. The moment I thought that, I felt very disappointed.

But the next moment, I thought, 'Grandma wasn't the type of person to complain about things like this. It's okay.'
According to my mother, my grandmother's favorite saying was, 'Focus on the living, not the dead!' 😆

In years when I can't visit, I rely on these words and tell myself in my heart, 'It can't be helped. It's not that I forgot,' and 'It's okay, until next time,' playing both parts of the conversation.

The rain, which hadn't been falling when I was cleaning the balcony, started to come down when I left the house, and the fact that I hadn't gone to the shrine stayed on my mind.

Apparently, it's good to visit shrines early in the morning.
They say the gods like the early morning.

I thought that the tears in my heart, saying 'Hmm, I'm sorry for today,' had turned into rain.
Or perhaps it was a sign from my grandmother saying, 'Hii-chan, next time.'
While I think it's a bit funny that I'm indulging in such fantasies, a feeling of disappointment still remains.

Even so, by the time I finished work, I had forgotten even the regret of not being able to go to the shrine, and I was heading home in the rain with the wind blowing.
Then suddenly, I remembered, 'Oh, the shrine!'

I thought, 'But, it's raining like this. And it's cold,' but then I felt, 'I'll go today after all. It's past noon, but I'll go,' and when I headed straight to the shrine, to my surprise, there was a festival going on 😳

They were playing gagaku music, and there were food stalls out too ☺️
Oh my, isn't this fun? 😊

I can only think that I was guided by Grandma this year 🥰
Maybe it was an invitation to come and see the festival.
Feeling that we are connected, I thought I was glad I came to the shrine this afternoon ✨

I'm a little tired, so I'll take a nap.
Purification 💎