First, accept what happened as your own responsibility
When you #fail, you tend to
• "It's because that person didn't do their job properly"
• "It can't be helped because the environment is bad"
and look for causes outside yourself.
However, growth does not come from that.
This is because the moment you place the cause outside, the ones who can improve become "other people" or the "environment."
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1️⃣ What happens when you blame others?
Blaming others makes you feel better temporarily.
If you say "I'm not at fault" or "They are the bad one," you can protect yourself.
But at that moment, learning stops. This is because you hand over the "right to change" to someone else.
Since the ball for improvement is in the other person's court, you cannot move, and you repeat the same mistakes.
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2️⃣ What does it mean not to blame others?
It is not about blaming yourself by saying "#I am bad"
👉 It is about thinking, "What can I do to improve from this situation?"
For example...
• Got yelled at by a boss → Not "the other person is immature," but "a chance for me to train how I handle emotions"
• Project failed → Not "the fault of my teammates," but "what could I have done in terms of preparation and confirmation?"
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3️⃣ Reasons why this leads to mental growth
• People who take responsibility for themselves are strong
Because you don't have to wait for someone else to change, your actions are faster.
• Emotional control improves
When you review anger or dissatisfaction as "your own immaturity," your calmness increases.
• You can apply failures to the future
Because you don't blame others and can find your own improvements, your growth accelerates.
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Summary
Not blaming others does not mean
blaming yourself,
👉 it means not letting go of the initiative for your own growth.
If you push failure onto others, it ends there.
If you make failure your own, the future begins from there.
Love and Money Therapist (Hiroyukika)'s #CounselingNote
@hiroyukika.3
#JCCF #CoachCounselor
Japan Coach Counselor Federation
Certified Synergy Coach Counselor
https://jccf.site/
http://tsudahiroaki.com/univer/
https://note.com/hiroyukika3/n/ne0b3b10fe784