Yoron Island Hostess Diary (24) Last Days

December 12, 1999.
Winter on Yoron Island is reasonably cold. There is a kotatsu in the dormitory, so everyone gets in, but
they get out right away. It's not cold enough to really settle in. Nana says, while applying nail polish, "I'm going home for a bit." When I ask, "Are you quitting being an ama diver?" she replies, "It's cold even with a wetsuit on. I'm over it. I'll come back when it gets warm again." I see. That was an option too. I think I'll head home at the end of this month. Though when I say home, my parents are no longer there, and I don't have a family house, so I'll just be at a friend's place for a while to plan my next move. It would be nice to rent an apartment with the money I earned here, or maybe study abroad. Or perhaps work somewhere else. It's ski season now, after all.

When I told Madame, she said, "Oh my, that's a shame. Manu will be lonely. Come back and visit!" Don't refuse those who come, don't chase those who leave. When you're on a remote island, that just happens naturally. Even Manu, once I'm gone, will likely forget me soon and return to his normal days. I'm just an aguncha who has been here for less than half a year; I'm neither family nor a lover. The reason I'm leaving the island is a little different from my usual whims. It's because Manu's presence has started to feel heavy. Or rather than heavy, perhaps it feels "precious." In any case, it's a feeling I've never held before, so I'm bewildered. The existence of another person becoming bigger in my heart than myself. Do other people endure things like this? Aren't they afraid? Moreover, I can't become Manu's lover, and I probably can't have children. Even if he spends his days with someone like me at Setsuko Beach, there's nothing for him to gain.

Once I decided to quit, the days passed quickly. I couldn't see much of Manu during the day because of the sugarcane harvesting, but our late-night Radio Flyer dates continued. We were two people who didn't even really know if those were dates, but sometimes we would huddle together until morning came.

“So this is what they mean by 'lingering attachment.' Well, if it's what you've decided, I have no right to object.” “I just don't have the nature to stay in one place for long. Six months was actually quite a long time for me.”
I'm pushing myself a bit, I admit. In truth, I'm incredibly lonely. I'm surprised because I've had such faint feelings until now. Why am I so lonely?

Whether Madame called them or not, the "Satoru Corps" came to the bar in shifts every day. Pipe, in particular, came to drink at a pace that made it hard to believe he was from a neighboring island.
“Sato-chan, are you really leaving? Should I take you to Tokyo on my cruiser?” I absolutely do not want to go to Odaiba in a fishing boat.

Hamadu-san, who is prone to being bitten by moray eels, appeared with his left hand wrapped in bandages. So he got bitten after all... “Just like Chu said, I shoved my fist deep into its throat, thinking I’d stopped its breathing, but they breathe through gills, don't they...” Indeed.

Chu-san brought a suspicious bag that was rustling around. “Since you’re quitting, Sato-chan, I brought you a present—here!” he said, dumping the contents of the bag. A chorus of screams erupted throughout the bar: “Gyaaaaah!!” Something like a giant shrimp was bouncing around on the counter like a spring. “Oh my, a slipper lobster. That’s a high-class ingredient,” Mama said happily, but it was thrashing about and impossible to handle. The one who stepped forward smoothly was, as expected, Miwa-san. When Miwa-san grabbed the lobster, it suddenly went quiet. Then, with a loud crunch, she split it in two. One after another, the lobsters were halved and distributed to everyone. Miwa-san sometimes saves living creatures, but she seems to show no mercy to ingredients.

That night, Manu was heavily drunk. “The slipper lobster was a surprise. But it was delicious.” “Yeah.” “Are you leaving tomorrow?” “Yeah, around noon.” “I won’t go to see you off. I’ll end up crying.” “I figured as much.”

“Then, I’ll sing,” Manu said, and suddenly started singing The Blue Hearts’ “Love Letter.” Suddenly... I thought it was embarrassing, but it was a good song. I never thought much of love songs, but for some reason, it touched my heart. That day, I snuck onto a boat belonging to one of Manu’s friends and slept. When I first came to this island, I was defeated by the rocking of a typhoon, but the sea that day was gentle, and to my chagrin, I fell asleep immediately. I feel like there were many things I wanted to talk about, and I also feel like it was better that we didn't talk about anything. And, as always, the morning came.

The members of Rafflesia were at the airport to see me off. I ignored Poseidon, who was saying, “At least once...”, and thanked everyone. They are friends I lived and worked with for half a year. Parting is truly painful. Toko is crying for no reason. Don't you cry.

A Shisa was painted on the tail of the propeller plane flying from Yoron to Okinawa. This makes me feel safe. It was rattling and shaking on the small runway, but suddenly it got motivated and started running in a straight line. It lifted off unsteadily, and in the blink of an eye, the island was below me. As the cottages of the resort hotel began to come into view, I saw something flickering and moving. It was Manu. Manu was waving a Setsuko Beach flag.

The light blue flag blended completely into the sea, and he looked like nothing more than a strange person swinging a club. Manu wasn't satisfied with just being on the beach; he had even gone into the sea to wave the stick. It must be cold even on Yoron. It's New Year's Eve, after all.

I laughed a little, and cried a little. I find that Manu adorable, and I cherish the days I spent on the island. Since I was a child, I never had a “place I wanted to return to.” I wonder if this small island in a corner of the earth will become the place that fills my heart. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. The journey continues.

(The End)

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(The End)