The Judge Who Only Gives Praise
Today's recommended book is “The Recommendation of Letting Go” (East Press) by Masakazu Kobayashi. I wrote this blog post based on a section titled “Paying the Price in Advance.”
In this book, there was a touching passage called “The Judge Who Only Gives Praise.”
A man who works as a music producer appeared on a TV show. He was asked to be a judge for a program where ordinary people sing karaoke. Since this man had been listening to my talks for some time, he said, “I feel uncomfortable evaluating and critiquing people as a judge.”
Therefore, I gave him this advice: “When you are judging, why don't you stop talking about what was wrong with their singing entirely? Leave all the criticism to the other judges.
If there is nothing to praise about their singing, why not praise something else? You could compliment their outfit, saying, ‘That tie is wonderful,’ or comment on their hairstyle. Their facial expressions or gestures while singing are also fair game. It doesn't matter what it is, why not make all your comments about praise?”
After I told him this, the man began to praise various things other than the singing whenever he was asked for a comment.. Six months later, the show's producer changed, and it was decided that the judges would be replaced. However, this man alone was asked to continue as a judge.
I heard that at first, he was criticized quite a lot by the other judges and the viewers. However, as the show continued, the other judges also began to praise things other than the singing. Gradually, many supportive messages arrived from viewers, and there was a synergistic effect where the show's ratings themselves increased.
By continuing to offer plenty of praise, not just for the singing, he was able to capture the hearts of many people. More people feel comfortable with a “judge who praises” than a “judge who only criticizes.”
This is not just a story about a TV show. People right in front of you are the same; they feel happier being showered with praise than being criticized. Why don't we each try living as a “judge who only focuses on giving praise” to the people around us?
◆ It is about how necessary it is to “just keep praising” in our daily lives. Yet, we inevitably end up becoming critics or judges toward others. And then, we point out their flaws and make a stinging remark. This is the same even in close relationships, such as with family, friends, and colleagues at work.
However, even if the person being stung is smiling on the outside, the words pierce their heart, and they feel a chill inside. Our lives are lives spent increasing our allies.. Allies increase through praise.. Through blame, criticism, or pointing out faults, allies only decrease.
I want to engrave the words “a judge who only gives praise” in my heart.
Today's blog is here → Lighting a Lamp in People's Hearts