What I Learned in the Mental Psychology Counselor Certification Course 3

You can learn this even if you haven't read the previous parts😊

While studying the Mental Psychology Counselor textbook, I often find lessons that are actually useful in daily life, regardless of whether you're a counselor or not.

I will share lessons that everyone would want to acquire.

Let's learn together!💪

There are many things that basics cannot handle

Even if you learn the basics as a student, once you enter the workforce and actually start working, there are many things that the basics cannot handle. The same applies to counselors.

The basics of counseling are acceptance, active listening, and empathy. These are things that you should be conscious of even if you are not a counselor.

However, these basics alone cannot solve everything. The certification textbook introduces what to do along with specific cases.

In this article, I will introduce some of that content.

Being conscious of the three "frames"

Counselors have three "frames" that must be protected.

❶ The "frame" of time

Regardless of whether a client is late or arrives early, a counselor does not shift the reserved time frame.

In work as well, I don't want to extend the time by 10 minutes just because a VIP was 10 minutes late or let things drag on and run over. I don't want to do that.

Be conscious of the "boundaries" of time.

❷ Boundaries between work and private life

Counselors do not disclose private information such as their address, age, or the reason they became a counselor.

If you happen to see a client outside, you should "hide well and let them pass by".

Even in the workplace, unlike in the past, many people now clearly distinguish between work and private life.

❸ Boundaries of human relationships

It is not okay to share the content of a child's counseling with their parents without permission. This is an easy example to understand because of the duty of confidentiality.

Another thing is that you must not accept gifts from clients. I was surprised by this, thinking, "Is that so!"

What I find difficult is the distinction between agreement and empathy. Empathize, do not agree.

If asked, "You think so too, don't you?", you must not say "Yes, I do" and agree.

If you agree, it could lead to trouble, with the client thinking, "The counselor said so too (they took my side)."

You must strictly focus on empathizing with the client's emotions. That is easy to say, but I think it is extremely difficult to actually do.

○ Boundaries to keep, boundaries to change, boundaries to break

I have introduced the "boundaries" that counselors must keep. Laws are also "boundaries" to keep.

However, I believe that even once a "boundary" is established, it is okay to change it.

On the other hand, in terms of learning, I believe "boundaries" should be broken. I want to go beyond my own boundaries, learn about things I don't know, and enrich my life.

Creating an environment where it is easy to talk

A counselor must make an effort to create an environment where the client feels comfortable talking.

This also relates to "How to Create Psychological Safety" that I posted in the past.

I will introduce some "What should I do in this situation?" examples. Please try to imagine situations in your daily life or at work while reading.

1. They started crying

Do not panic, thinking, "Oh no, what do I do!!"
First, empathize and let them cry as much as they want.

"It's okay to cry in front of this person." Let's become that safe place for their heart.

2. They are too nervous to speak

・"There is no need to rush"
・"You don't have to force yourself to talk"
・"You don't have to say anything you don't want to"
tell them this.

I get very nervous when meeting new people, so when I thought about it from the other perspective, I felt that "it would be helpful if someone treated me that way."

3. They went silent

Endure it!

Just like when the other person is crying, you should just let them stay silent for as long as they like.

They might just be "thinking." While wondering why they went silent, patiently wait for them to start speaking.

Building a relationship of trust

A relationship of trust is very important between a counselor and a client. However, the trust that has been built can sometimes be destroyed by just a single word.

I will introduce some "What should I do in this situation?" examples. Please try to imagine situations in your daily life or at work while reading.

1. I made them angry!

Even if you are wrong,do not respond with anger.

“I see that you are angry about [X].” First, accept and empathize with the fact that the other person is angry. After that, apologize sincerely and clear up any misunderstandings.

Empathy → Apology → Clearing up misunderstandings.

② They are completely lying!

When people lie, they tend to exhibit some kind of behavior. Like touching their nose or hiding their hands. However, it does not necessarily mean they are lying 100% of the time.

Accept what the other person is saying, andthink about the reason why they are saying such things.

③ They have given up!

What should you do if they have decided that “talking to you won't solve anything” and have given up?

First, confirm thereason for that. If the reason is unavoidable, you have no choice but to end the conversation.

However, it is important toshow that you are always willing to listen. Even if it doesn't work out this time, try to keep the door open for next time.

Summary

The basics of counseling are the three pillars ofacceptance, active listening, and empathy, but in reality, it seems that the basics alone are not enough.

❶Time,❷ Work and private life,❸ Human relationships; it was important to be conscious of these three 'frames'.

Creating an environment where it is easy to talk and building a relationship of trust are also important. I have outputted these aslessons that can also be used in daily life.

That is all for today's lesson. Please come back again. 👋

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