🌼 The Day I Gave Myself Permission to Be Happy
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🌙 Me, when I lived as if life were an ascetic practice
For the longest time, I lived believing that life was an ascetic practice.
“You must not enjoy yourself.”
“If you want to be happy, you have to work hard.”
“If you have time to play, you should be making an effort.”
Those words echoed deep within my heart for so long.
I felt that because I was a dirty person, it was disgusting to be kind.
I couldn't even look in the mirror.
That was how I lived, punishing myself.
💫 The person who told me, “You are fine just as you are”
It was my husband who first told me, “You are fine just as you are,” when I was like that.
With those words, something I had been holding tightly suddenly loosened.
That was when I realized.
The me from when I was little—the “little foster child”—
had been watching my father’s back all that time, and had formed these beliefs.
“You won't be loved unless you are serious and hardworking.”
“You cannot be happy unless you try hard.”
“I must have done something bad in a past life, so I must live a life of atonement in this one.”
…Those were just beliefs.
But I had lived my whole life believing them to be the “truth.”
🌞 When I remembered my true self
However, the true me, who had been sleeping deep in my heart,
was not born to be trapped within such heavy rules.
I wasn't the type to work hard in a straight line like my father,
but a soul that wanted to live freely and lightly, following my feelings and intuitionall along.
But I thought that was “wrong,”
so I locked my true self deep inside a treasure chest,
and kept it so securely locked that I even forgot about it myself.
And now, I have finally opened that treasure chest and remembered.
I have value just by existing.
If I want to be happy, I am allowed to be happy.
💖 What it means to treat yourself with care
“Treating yourself with care”
is not about indulging in luxury or being perfect,
but about “not denying your true self.”that was it.
Even if I don't try hard,
even if I don't have it all together,
whether I cry or laugh,
I am fine just as I am.
I wasn't born for ascetic practice.
I was born wishing to “experience happiness on Earth.”that is why I was born.
So, I will continue to live by treating myself with care.
Even if I cry, stop, or waver,
because that is the proof of my life.
🌼 A word for today
🌞 The day I gave myself permission to be happy.
In that moment, the colors of the world changed.
#SelfLove #SelfAcceptance #InnerChild #SoulIntegration #LivingAsMyTrueSelf #UniverseExperiment #21DayPostingChallenge #PermissionToBeHappy