What I Wanted to Reclaim After Quitting My Job

There were several reasons why I decided to resign.

Income, work style, and how I wanted to live my life moving forward.
It was a conclusion I reached after much worry and deep thought.

One of those reasons was
the desire to live more mindfully.

Today, I would like to write about that.

When I was a teacher, my days were incredibly busy.
From morning until night, I was chased by time and by tasks,
feeling as if every day was like walking a tightrope.

By the time I managed to finish the day and get home, I was completely exhausted.
I had almost no energy left to do any housework.

Because of that, I didn't have the luxury of making elaborate meals,
so there were many days when I bought fast food on the way home
or relied on bento boxes and pre-made side dishes.

I don't think that was a bad thing.
At that time, it was all I could do.

My husband and children never complained.
They understood perfectly well that I was busy.

Even so, there were moments when I would suddenly think,
“Is it okay for me to be this kind of mother?”

Seeing myself serving fast food to my children for dinner.
And then, the physical changes I felt as I grew older.

After passing my 40s, my body was clearly gaining weight more easily,
and I felt that a life of continuing to eat fast food and bento boxes at night
was not good for me.

“I want to live a little more properly.”

That thought gradually accumulated in my heart.

And then, the dinner on the first day after I retired.

I made yurinchi (deep-fried chicken with scallion sauce).

For the old me, deep-frying something on a weekday night
was unthinkable.

But that day was different.
I had space in my heart and time on my hands.

Coating the chicken in potato starch and frying it until crispy.
The chicken turning a golden brown with a sizzling sound.

Pouring a sweet and sour sauce packed with plenty of scallions over it,
and the yurinchi was complete.

It might not be a special dish.
But that single dish had a sense of “margin” that I had never had before.

When I set it on the table, my children smiled and said, “Delicious!”
and ate it heartily.

Seeing that, my heart felt warm and fuzzy.

“Ah, this is the kind of time I wanted.”

That was the moment I felt that.

Things that had become invisible in the busyness.
Things I had been putting off.

They were these simple, casual moments of sitting around the table with my family,
laughing and saying, “This is delicious.”

On this day, I truly felt “happy.”

It’s nothing extraordinary, but
this time spent sitting around the table with my family with peace of mind.

To me, “living mindfully”
is surely the accumulation of these simple, casual moments.

I want to live from now on while properly feeling, one by one,
the precious things that had become invisible in the busyness.

Being able to think that
was one of the major reasons why I chose to resign.