Episode 3: I'll Show You | Perception Onmyodo Series

-1-

At the end of the link was a website with wallpaper that looked like Japanese paper.
“By distancing yourself a little from your tiring daily life and immersing yourself in peace, your heart will regain its calm.”
The text floated up, and scenes played in sequence: a tatami room, a room with a monitor showing nature footage, and people there exchanging gentle, thornless conversation... Mika’s finger, about to tap, stopped. The scent of tatami, the conversations her ears were beginning to open to, a landscape that allowed her to sit and watch the scenery rather than a voice urging her that she had to try hard... The sensations flowing into her brain moved Mika’s finger, and she touched the link that read, “Find a Wanari-no-Sato near you.”
It said, “Why not come for a visit first? If you just make a reservation, there is no charge,” and just as she was about to press the “Make a Reservation” button, Satsuki’s face came to mind, and she closed the browser.
“I can’t do this without saying anything to Satsuki-san...”
She said it out loud as if to convince herself, put her smartphone down, and stood up. When she returned after taking a shower, she opened her exchange with Satsuki without thinking. Seeing Satsuki’s reply to her email saying “Things are going well,” which read, “Keep it up, and please contact me immediately if anything happens,” her chest gave a sharp pang.
She pressed the reply button and wrote about work, but couldn't bring herself to write about Wanari-no-Sato, so she kept it to, “I’m feeling down because I’m thinking that I’m no good after all, haha,” and pressed the send button.
“...”
What am I doing... As if black paint had been poured over the top of her head, something thick and viscous spread. Satsuki-san will surely be disappointed. In just two short weeks, after having just one... unpleasant thing happen at work, she immediately reached for her smartphone, trying to escape. Even though she knew that looking would make her emotions feel raw...
Suddenly, her hand touched her throat. When she was looking at that site earlier, she hadn't felt the lump in her throat. She felt that discomfort in her throat almost every time she looked at social media, but she hadn't felt it with that site. Maybe it was because it wasn't social media... But was it really just that...?
“...!”
Realizing her hand was reaching for her smartphone again, she shook her head vigorously. Then, a notification for a received email arrived, and Mika flinched, her shoulders jerking. Her heart hammered, and the hand holding the smartphone trembled slightly.

I’ll be scolded.
I’ll be looked at with disdain.
I’ll be thought of as a useless person.

Words of black and deep purple flooded her mind like a deluge, and with a strained face, she opened the email.
“Work was tough, wasn't it? I don't think the part-timer meant any harm, but I think the assistant manager should have listened to Mika-san’s side of the story properly and checked the situation. You had an unpleasant experience, didn't you.”
The hand holding the smartphone trembled. Why didn't she say clearly that “it wasn't me”... Mika, who had thought she would be scolded even if the phrasing was gentle, trembled her lips and sniffled.
“It’s common for things to be interrupted, so don't worry. You can just try again starting tomorrow. But it might be hard to sort out your feelings... If you'd like, why don't we talk a little over the phone? There are things you can only understand by sharing voices.”
A phone call... It was an unexpected proposal. She might not be able to talk properly with a tearful voice... The area around her throat felt heavy. She should refuse the call... and yet, as she read Satsuki’s email, her heart had stopped its frantic hammering before she knew it.
She typed “Please,” and pressed send. About five minutes later, a reply came, and Mika held the smartphone to her ear.
“I’m sorry, calling over something so trivial...”
Her voice came out. It was raspy, but she could speak.
“I’m sorry for taking up your time when you’re upset over something that isn't unusual when working... When your heart is weak, it’s natural to feel that way.”
Satsuki said in a voice like sunlight filtering through trees.
“Did you feel anything on your way home? Like feeling pain somewhere in your body, or something that came to mind?”
“Something I felt...”
“Anything is fine. Don't rush, if there’s anything you can remember.”
“...Earlier, before I emailed you, Satsuki-san, I opened social media, which I hadn't looked at recently. Then, I saw an advertisement for something called Wanari-no-Sato.”
“Wanari-no-Sato?”
Satsuki’s voice felt clouded for an instant, and Mika felt a sharp pang in her throat.
“What kind of advertisement was it?”
“It said things like, you don't have to compare yourself to others, it’s okay to take a break from trying hard... and I clicked on it, but I didn't sign up for a visit or anything like that. But...”
“But?”
“While I was looking at that homepage, the discomfort around my throat disappeared... I realized it had vanished...”
“How is it now?”
“Now? Now... it’s a little heavy. Um, it’s not because I’m talking to you, Satsuki-san...”
“It’s fine.”
Satsuki said in her unchanging, faintly luminous voice.
“Mika-san, when we talk about the second week, why don't we meet in person?”
“In person...?”
“There are things you can understand better by talking face-to-face, and I thought you might feel more at ease, Mika-san, if you met me and confirmed what kind of person I am.”
“That’s... I feel at ease just talking to you like this, Satsuki-san... But, yes, I would like to meet you... To be honest, I’m a little scared, though...”
“If you’re meeting someone for the first time, I think it’s natural to have some anxiety. It’s fine, that’s okay. It might be one way to think of me as a customer.”
“A customer...?”
“A customer who comes to Mika-san’s shop to drink coffee.”
“Ah...!”
“I’m sure there are many people you meet for the first time.”
“That’s true, you’re right... I understand! I’ll do my best to serve you the best cup of coffee, Satsuki-san!”
“I’m looking forward to it. Well then, I’ll contact you again regarding the place and time to meet.”
When the call ended, Mika realized she had been standing up without noticing. Thinking about meeting in a few days, her back rounded again, and she felt a faint regret spreading, but within ten minutes, Satsuki sent the location and date, and after replying “I look forward to it,” she connected her smartphone to the charger and headed for the shower.

-2-

Satsuki checked the email before sending, and after pressing the send button, she leaned her head back against the chair.
Past 10:00 PM, perhaps because she hadn't had a leisurely lunch today, her body felt heavy, and she craved strongly flavored food. She felt like ordering pizza or a hamburger for delivery, but she ignored it, walked to the refrigerator, and took out two kiwis in a pack. She pulled a knife from its case and peeled them as if creating art. She picked up the two peels that had fallen into the sink and put them in the trash. She straightened her posture once, cut the kiwi on the cutting board as if slicing sashimi, arranged them into uniform shapes on a plate, and added a fork that fit in the palm of her hand.
It’s not unusual to eat kiwi at night, but she’s usually more casual. Sometimes four peels come from two kiwis, or uneven pieces of fruit sit messily on the plate. But precisely because she was tired, she made an effort to exert a little bit of concentration. By the time she finished arranging it and took a bite, the craving for pizza had vanished.
For the four days until she met Mika, she went about her work as usual, replied to emails from consultants that arrived on the website, and reached the day of the meeting. The location was “Cafe Terima Kasih,” not far from Yokohama Station. It was a shop started by an owner who loved Singaporean cuisine, and in the 12 years since it opened, it had been bustling with office workers from nearby companies on weekdays and regulars on weekends. For about a year and a half after opening, customer traffic didn't grow, and she was prepared to have to close the shop, but when she changed the style to a cafe-restaurant rather than a restaurant, customers gradually started coming, and at that timing, she changed the food to a cafe menu, and customer traffic stabilized. Satsuki had heard from the owner before that it had reached this point. It’s a classic, but the Hainanese chicken rice is exquisite, and when you eat it with the homemade soup provided as a set, the texture and flavor change, becoming an addictive deliciousness.
In the shop decorated in white and green, there were 10 counter seats, 6 four-person tables, and 6 two-person tables, and the owner went back and forth between the counter and the kitchen, while a part-timer moved busily in the hall. Satsuki also liked the multiple “masks” hanging on the wall that might have been used in some ritual in the past.

She arrived 10 minutes before the promised time, and when she greeted the familiar staff member, she was told, “Your companion is already here.” She had arrived about 5 minutes early and was at her seat.
“Thank you.”
She smiled at the staff member and headed to the seat. She saw a petite woman sitting in front of a rustic-patterned table. Thinking that there aren't many people who look smaller than herself... Satsuki walked to the table and said, “Hello.”
“Ah... hello.”
The woman looked up, blinking her eyes. Her black hair, long enough to hide her shoulder blades, brushed her collarbone the moment she looked up. Her eyes were slightly small, but with faint double eyelids, she had a cuteness like a small animal. Combined with her thick lips, it gave off an atmosphere of being kind-hearted and timid. The fact that her clothing was subdued also seemed to show a feeling of wanting to be inconspicuous rather than a preference for that kind of fashion.
“You’re Mika Kosaka-san, right?”
“Yes...! Um, Satsuki-san...?”
“Yes, I’m Satsuki.”
“Ah, um, nice to meet you, I’m... Mika Kosaka, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Mika’s voice, as she stood up and bowed, gathered the surrounding gazes for a moment, but they dissipated along with Satsuki’s smile as she said, “Shall we sit?” After conveying their order to the staff member who appeared at the right time to order first, Satsuki handed over her business card.
“Satsuki Inanobe... It was written on the website, too. A cool surname...”
“My real name is Amamiya, though.”
Satsuki smiled.
“Is that so?”
“Yes. I have a reason for using that surname. It’s also because I have a different job usually.”
“A different job... That’s amazing, I’m barely managing with just my current job...”
Watching Mika, who was looking down, unconsciously touching her throat with her right hand, Satsuki frowned for a moment, but immediately returned to a smile.

(A beautiful person...)
Mika was captivated by Satsuki, as if looking at a flower.
The clothes she was wearing were ones she had seen at shops she often visited, and they weren't expensive. She wasn't wearing flashy earrings, and her makeup was natural. And yet, an atmosphere that would make a picture just by taking a photo...
“Is something wrong?”
Satsuki said with a smile, and Mika’s heart jumped.
“Ah, no... I just thought, that’s an outfit I’ve seen at a clothing store I often go to, and I thought that depending on how you wear it, you can look like that...”
When Mika pointed slightly, Satsuki looked at her own clothes and laughed, saying, “Because the size is small, there are times when it’s hard to find.”
“Size?”
“I’m 151 centimeters tall. It’s a bit of a complex... (haha)”
“Eh? You looked taller. Taller than me. Shoes...?”
She glanced casually, but she wasn't wearing heels, and while they were talking about that, the food was brought.
“Let’s satisfy our hunger first.”
Satsuki laughed, and Mika was drawn into laughing too. While eating, the small talk continued. She had imagined a stiffer atmosphere, like the life counseling sometimes seen in cafes, but Satsuki proceeded with the conversation in an atmosphere like talking to a friend she had known for a long time. Before she knew it, the polite language decreased from Mika’s words, and Satsuki didn't mind, and when they finished their meal, coffee was brought.
“A good aroma...”
“You’re in work mode.”
Seeing Mika looking at the coffee seriously and taking it into her mouth as if tasting it, Satsuki smiled.
“Ah, I’m sorry, I just...”
After a bitter smile and looking down for a moment, she looked up, and Satsuki opened her mouth.
“The worries Mika-san is carrying are things that almost everyone today has been troubled by at least once. So, it’s not that Mika-san is weak or anything like that.”
“...Why do humans end up comparing themselves to someone else? Even though it’s just painful.”
“In the past, it was necessary for survival.”
“Survival, that sounds a bit exaggerated...”
“There is something called social comparison theory, proposed by a psychologist named Leon Festinger in 1954. Humans compare themselves with others to grasp their own evaluations and abilities. Because it’s instinctive, it’s difficult not to compare. Humans in the days when they were hunting compared themselves with others in the herd to confirm their own standing. If they thought they were inferior, they thought they would try hard to survive, and they felt relieved by looking at people in positions lower than themselves.”
“Does that mean it functioned well in the past?”
“Yes. For example, in a company, you can quantify your achievements and confirm your current position. Parts that cannot be quantified are also important, but for example. But in the past, there were no such things. So, to know where you were in the herd, comparing with others was easy to understand. You compare with others and decide how you should behave. But now, there are billions of comparison targets.”
“Social media and such...”
“Yes. But that’s not all. If it were a comparison in a small herd with real interaction, you should have been able to see the shadows of others, too. But social media only shows the light of others. Have you ever thought that your skin looked better than it actually does when you just took a photo with your smartphone and didn't process it at all?”
“I have... I have!”
“Even if you know that’s how it is, when you look at other people’s photos on social media, your mood sinks compared to your own flesh and blood. It’s like comparing light and shadow. It’s like a bug being born because the social environment has changed, even though it functioned well in the past.”
“Um... then, is there nothing that can be done...? It’s not my fault...? But then what should I do...”
“Certainly, there is no need to blame yourself, saying that you are bad for comparing, that you are no good. But if you say that you have no responsibility at all, that is also different.”
Satsuki’s voice felt like it shone sharply for an instant, and Mika hunched her shoulders. When she suddenly noticed, her right hand, which should have been on the table, was placed on her throat, and feeling a sensation as if a blackish, slightly uneven stone was being moved from the outside, she coughed as if choking.
“I also compare myself. Especially height (haha). But I don't get swallowed up and depressed. There is a common point among people who get stuck in the depths by comparing themselves with others.”
“What is it, the common point...”
Mika asked, moving her fingertips as if pinching to take the stone out of her throat.
“It’s that they attract bad things.”
Told that, Mika stopped her hand and opened her eyes wide.
“Bad, things...?”
“I’ll show you.”
Satsuki extended her right index finger and moved it as if writing letters near the side of Mika’s neck. At the same time, she put her left index finger to her lips in a “shh...” gesture.
“Satsuki-san...?”
Mika, who tilted her head, felt a sensation as if something was covering her from her back to her neck. Just as she turned her face diagonally downward and was about to scream involuntarily, Satsuki’s hand gripped her right hand, and she swallowed the scream.
“Th-this...”
Her voice cracked. A thin arm the color of a withered leaf was wrapped around from her back, and a hand was placed around her throat. Like a baby, something’s hand was riding on her back. She knew for sure it was there, but she didn't feel any weight.
“That is the true identity of the discomfort in your throat that you are feeling.”
Satsuki said.
“A torment yokai called Kurabe (Comparison).”
“Torment, yokai...?”
Satsuki’s eyes and words were not shaking at all. Thinking that perhaps she herself was strange for having her left cheek twitch and faintly smiling, Satsuki continued.
“‘That’ cannot be seen by ordinary people. If you have strong spiritual sense, you might see it as a blurred feeling or hear sounds, but you cannot see it as Mika-san is perceiving it now.”
To calm Mika, whose teeth had started chattering, Satsuki placed her hand on Mika’s right hand and directed an icy gaze at the Kurabe behind her. Immediately, the discomfort in her throat disappeared, and the withered-leaf-like arm that had been in her field of vision also vanished.
“It doesn't mean it disappeared, so you mustn't let your guard down.”
Satsuki said.
“Unlike what you see in manga, it’s a parasite-like existence that feeds on people’s worries and possesses them. Humans and other animals emit weak photons called biophotons while performing life activities. Torment yokai absorb that, which is emitted by people carrying deep worries, as nourishment. People who are swallowed by worries also have their health condition affected. That also affects the quality of the emitted biophotons, making it easier for torment yokai to possess them.”
“What happens if I’m possessed...?”
She swallowed the words that followed, but Satsuki said as if she had guessed, “Usually, it’s not life-threatening.”
“Because it has a parasite-like nature, it would be a problem if the human who is the host disappeared. However, to get more nourishment, it tries to amplify worries in various ways. The discomfort the body feels is one of them. For example, when you think your body is heavy, there are times when your physical condition is really bad, and when you fail at work and are depressed, it adds weight to make your body heavy to get even more nourishment.”
Satsuki stopped her words and pointed to her own throat.
“Or making you feel discomfort in a specific part.”
“But if I corner myself too much with that discomfort...”
Her voice... no, it wasn't just her voice. The hand wrapped in warm comfort was also trembling slightly.
“There are things you can do so that doesn't happen.”
Satsuki said.
“If it’s you, Satsuki-san, you can exorcise it, right...!?”
Interrupting Satsuki’s words as she was about to say what followed, Mika threw out a trembling voice.
“Please exorcise it...! I beg you, I will pay money...!”
Satsuki quietly accepted Mika’s words and gently gripped her trembling hand as if to wrap it.
“I can exorcise it. But, that’s no good.”
“No good, what do you mean...?”
“Even if I exorcise it, as long as you have the same worries, Kurabe will come again. They are not an existence that will disappear if you exorcise one. As long as people’s worries exist, they will never completely disappear.”
“Then... then what should I do...”
“The person who is possessed exorcises it themselves.”
At Satsuki’s words, Mika opened her eyes wide.
“By myself...? There’s no way I could do that...”
“You can.”
Satsuki said.
“I will teach you that method from now on.”