"Dialogue" (Part 1) - Things to cherish as you grow older

As you gain age and experience,there are habits you pick up without realizing it that you should be careful about.Rushing the conversation by asking, "So, what's the conclusion?"
Thinking you already know the answer before the other person has finished speaking.
Interrupting a young person's opinion with, "No, that's not it..."

I don't think I'm the only one who recognizes these behaviors.
The asset of experience sometimes createsa sense of complacency where you think, "I don't need to listen anymore."And that very complacency might be
the gateway to being seen by those around you as an "arrogant person" or someone who "talks down to others."perhaps.

The tricky part is that the person has absolutely no malicious intent.Rather, they are jumping to conclusions "thinking it's for the best" and interrupting with advice "intending to be kind."
Confidence backed by years of experience unknowingly robs the other person of the space to speak.
Behaviors I would never have done when I was young, I now do unconsciously, having gained status and age...
There are times when I suddenly notice this in myself and feel a chill.

Over the next few installments,"Dialogue"I will be talking about the theme of.
This is because I feel once again that for those in the senior generation, and those who will soon enter it, one of the important concepts to cherish to avoid becoming an arrogant, condescending elder is this "dialogue."
I hope you will join me without feeling pressured, and with your shoulders relaxed.

"Talk" and "Argument"

The meaning of communication changes significantly depending on the kanji used in words like "〇-talk" or "〇-argument."
Idle talk, dialogue, discussion, argument, dispute, debate, deliberation...
Setting aside idle talk, in most cases,the destination of these communications is a "conclusion."

Isn't "discussion" the most common form of communication happening around us to reach a conclusion?
Saying, "As a result of the discussion, we reached this conclusion."

Actually,"dialogue" is very important as a form of communication before starting these discussions.

Before a discussion begins, what is needed for both sides, or multiple speakers, is a phase where everyone speaks openly about their thoughts and recognizes commonalities and differences.
By listening honestly to the other person's opinion, insights and new ideas are born.

What it means to "listen honestly"

"Listening honestly" isan attitude of not immediately reacting to the other person's story or interjecting with your own opinions.

"I see, that's how you think about it."
"You think that way because you have that background."
"It seems our thinking differs on this point."
"I wonder how they think about it from this perspective..."

It means first listening to each other's opinions and having a conversation with the mindset of understanding the other person.

It sounds easy when put into words, but it is actually quite difficult.
While the other person is talking,you are already constructing a counter-argument in your head, saying, "No, that's not it."
I think everyone has had that experience.
You seem to be listening, but you are actually thinking about what you will say next.
This is similar to, but different from, "listening honestly."

By establishing this "dialogue phase" first, the "discussion" that follows becomes much more constructive.

If you skip "dialogue" and jump into "discussion"...

A discussion is, needless to say, a place for conversation to align different ways of thinking into a single direction that leads to action.

It is required to discuss things without getting emotional, focusing on objectivity and rationality.

However, if you enter a discussion without understanding the background of the other person's thoughts, you may misinterpret the essence of their statements due to hasty judgments or assumptions.
Then, the other person may feel, 'This person doesn't understand at all,' leading them to explain things carelessly or, conversely, to stop listening to you and instead prepare to 'refute you next.'

When this happens, objectivity and rationality gradually fade away, and in the end, you may find yourselfplunging into a 'quarrel' that produces nothing.

The more experienced one becomes, the more onetends to skip the dialogue and start by stating one's own conclusion.
Has 'To start with the conclusion' become your catchphrase?
Are you placing your answer before the other person has even finished organizing their thoughts?
When someone suggests, 'Let's discuss this point,' take a breath and try guiding them by saying, 'Well, let's start with a dialogue first.'
I believe that composure isthe dignity of someone who has grown with age.

And above all, those who start with dialogue give the other person this impression:
'This person really listens to what I have to say.'The opposite of arrogance may not be a prestigious title or abundant knowledge, but rather, unexpectedly, this one point.

Next time, I will talk about the 'harmful effects' that hinder such dialogue.

Thank you for reading until the end.
If you would like, could we connect?
I look forward to your follow.
I am also actively looking to connect with others.