What to do when your child says, 'Stop English! Speak Japanese!'? [Bilingual Parenting | Home English]

What should you do if your young child says,
'Speak Japanese!'
'Stop English!'
to you?

This is one of the topics I receive many consultations about.

If the parent switches to Japanese here, it means giving up on speaking or conversing in English, doesn't it?

If you are fine with the game ending there, then I have nothing more to say, but I believe most people doing home English are looking for more than that.

So, what should you do?
I don't think there is a perfect answer or a single correct way,
but in this article, I will write about my own thoughts.

Before that, please let me introduce myself briefly♪

Now, let's get right into it and consider a few points.

❶ Think about why your child says, 'Speak Japanese.'

Was it simply because they didn't understand?
Or are they trying to lead the parent toward easier Japanese?

If it's the former, you might need to try changing how you say things or review your input methods and volume.

If it's the latter, it is important that the parent does not give in.

It doesn't have to be English all the time; it might be good to set a time limit, such as 'while we are playing this game' or 'for the next 30 minutes,' and stick to English during that time.

❷ Instead of demanding conversation, use a style of commenting in English.

The child might not want to answer in English, or they might not know how to answer.

If so, it might be good to review the content of what you are saying to them.

Instead of asking the child questions in English, try commenting in English on what the child is doing.

The 'Responsive Parenting' methodTry doing the same thing. They might still be at a stage where they need to get used to hearing English.

❸ Understand that children want to speak in the 'more natural language'.

If you have been speaking Japanese until now, it is natural for your child to want to speak in Japanese.

Even if you have been speaking to them in English all along, once they realize that you are more proficient in Japanese, they will start speaking to you in Japanese.

Depending on your child's understanding and your own English proficiency, it might be a good idea to set specific times for English and continue until it becomes natural, or to create opportunities for conversation with native speakers through online lessons.

There are quite a few children who don't want to speak English with their parents but will speak it with a native teacher.

4. If the English environment is not natural, talk to your child and set some ground rules.

Children grow by adapting to their environment.
In particular, linguistic development is almost entirely dependent on the environment.

It depends on when you started home English, but if your child says, 'Speak in Japanese,' it might just mean that the environment (habit) is not yet established.

If they are old enough to understand, it might be good to talk to them and set some rules.

If they are not yet at an age to understand, if you consistently maintain the environment you have intentionally set, English will eventually become natural for them.

5. Don't worry if they answer in Japanese when you speak to them in English.

In this case, as long as you ensure that your child understands what you said and is reacting to it, you are fine. I don't think you need to force them to answer in English.

Just be happy and say, 'Oh, you understood that!' and celebrate it.

And if possible, it would be good to repeat back in English what your child replied in Japanese.

■ Something more important than points 1-5

Finally, home English is ultimately just a part of parenting.

Regardless of whether you do English or not, I believe that how you interact with your child is what matters.

I believe it is most important to interact positively and actively so that children can grow up feeling loved by their parents.

If these things are hindering that, it might be best to forget the above for a while and look at the overall picture of your parenting, focusing on how you interact with your child and your relationship with them.

I have written this as concisely as possible, so there may be some parts that are difficult to understand. Please keep in mind that these are just my personal thoughts, so I hope you will take them as 'just one way of thinking about it.'

In home English and bilingual parenting, I think everyone is struggling and working hard to figure out how to proceed in a way that suits their own child.

If you have any concerns, I also offer individual video consultations and lessons on how to speak to your child, so please feel free to contact me if you are interested 🍀

Now, this time I shared some points to consider when your child dislikes English. If this was helpful to you at all, it would be very encouraging if you could give it a like or leave a comment to let me know you read it!

Thank you for reading!

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