[Self-Introduction] hibiki | Feeling my way back to what I love, once more
I tried many different things.
But each time I did, I felt like I was losing sight of myself a little more.
What is it that I actually love?
I couldn't find an answer to that question right away.
Perhaps I am still in the middle of finding it.
Even so, I decided I wanted to create something once again.
As if to confirm what I love with my own hands.
I am starting this note as hibiki.
I used to write on note under a different account.
I didn't dislike writing itself; in fact, I think I actually loved it.
But as I kept going, I started thinking more about how to reach people than how I wanted to write.
That in itself isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Looking at the numbers and thinking about how to make things readable are probably necessary.
However, in my case, when I leaned too far into that, I felt like I was fading away even though I was the one writing.
I would think things through and organize them properly.
Even though I was trying to make sure it was communicated clearly.
What remained after I finished writing was often the feeling of,
Was this really me?
and things like that.
I could put thoughts and emotions into words, but the more raw, tangible feeling of being a human living a life was slowly slipping away.
That was quietly painful.
Before I knew it, I didn't even really understand my own emotions anymore.
That was when I encountered
AI music production.
Honestly, I didn't think I would get this hooked at first.
But when I took the things I couldn't quite put into words,
turned them into lyrics, and set them to music,
I felt like I could breathe a little easier.
It doesn't have to be explained perfectly.
It doesn't have to make perfect sense.
For now, just as I am,
I'll try turning it into sound.
I think that suited me better than I expected.
After making music, the next thing I thought was,
how can I convey the scenery and the temperature
to the people who listen to this?
There are things that can be conveyed through sound alone.
But I felt like I was still missing something
when it came to the things I saw in my head
or the atmosphere that was flowing through it all.
So, naturally, I started creating illustrations as well.
The two people in the header image
are characters born from that process.
I started using it because I wanted to give shape
to the scenery and temperature that music alone couldn't fully convey.
But once I turned them into illustrations, I felt like
I couldn't fully capture the relationship between the two
or the emotions hidden deep within.
So next,
I wanted to try touching upon that in the form of short stories.
What I want to do on this note
Post music created with AI.
Draw illustrations and characters born from those songs.
Write short stories about the characters.
To leave behind the things I got lost in or thought about while creating.
In doing so,
to find what I 'love' little by little.
Regaining what I 'love' is,
I think, probably not just about rearranging the things I like one by one.
It is about bringing myself back to my own touch,
the self that leaned too much toward being 'correct',
or the self that grew distant while trying to look like I had it all together.
The songs and stories I create here on this note,
I believe they are also things in the middle of that process.
I don't think I just want to leave behind finished works,
perhaps.
I have also layered a feeling that has always been stuck in my mind
onto the two people in the header image.
The impatience of remaining in the middle of things.
The feeling of being somewhat stifled,
even though I should be doing things the right way.
I hope to touch upon such things
little by little,
through music, illustrations, and short stories.
While I value reaching people properly,
I don't want to repeat the feeling of becoming thin
just for the sake of that.
I am still in the middle of finding my outline,
but from here on, little by little,
I hope to give shape to the scenery and emotions within me.
