Side Story/I think I'm getting used to it. But

Lately,

there are times when I think I'm getting used to it.

The way things look.

The speed at which I walk.

The feeling when I go outside.

It's not like before,

where it bothers me every single time.

It's not like every day is filled with intense anxiety.

My life,

mostly revolves around the same rhythm.

I wake up in the morning,

go outside,

finish my errands,

and come back.

So,

(maybe I'm okay now)

there are moments when I think that.

Even so,

if you ask me if it's completely natural,

It's a little different.

Sometimes,

there are moments when I become conscious of my own movements.

When I walk.

When I stop.

When I check my footing.

Even though nothing has happened,

my body reacts first,

and my mind catches up later.

Every time that happens,

I think, ah.

Even though I should be used to it,

there is a part of me that is thinking.

It doesn't feel like I'm forcing myself.

It's not that I'm in trouble, either.

It's just that my body already knows,

that things are not the same as before.

Getting used to something,

doesn't seem to mean forgetting.

And it doesn't mean erasing the sense of discomfort, either.

It's not about smoothing things out.

While still holding onto this sense of discomfort,

I make a place for it in my life.

And just like that, I keep going.

Perhaps,

I will spend tomorrow the same way.

Without any special feelings,

but,

without it ever fully dissolving.

Even so,

the day comes to a proper end.

For now,

including that,

the days are moving forward.