Not going to school = school refusal? | What I thought when looking at my second daughter

While writing about my second daughter's university entrance exams, I reread some past articles.
And there, I realized something.

I had never described my second daughter as having 'school refusal' (futoko) before.

This article is part 21 of the 'Freelance Daily Life 2026' series.
▼ The previous one is here

What I realized after reading past articles about my second daughter

Right now.

I am writing a series about my second daughter's university entrance exams.
▼ Recent articles are here

In that process, as I was rereading some past articles,

I realized one thing.

'Huh? I haven't used the word "school refusal" even once.'

I have written many times about the period when she couldn't go to school.

But I don't use the term 'school refusal,' but rather

'couldn't go to school'

as an expression.

I didn't think of my second daughter as having 'school refusal'

In the first place.

Why don't I use the word 'school refusal'?

I thought about it a little and realized.

Ididn't think of my second daughter as having 'school refusal'.

That's all there is to it.

It seems my second daughter herself doesn't think of herself as having 'school refusal' either.

The reason I didn't think of it as 'school refusal'

So, why didn't I or my second daughter think of it as 'school refusal'?

There seem to be two reasons.

[Reason 1] She was always attending cram school

Even if there were days she couldn't go to school, she was still attending cram school.

Of course, when she was in her first year of high school, it wasn't like she was cooped up in cram school all the time.

Even so, she went to cram school to study almost every day.
This rhythm was never broken.

So, in my mind, it was a feeling of

'the place of learning just changed'

.

[Reason 2] The decision to transfer was quick

Another thing is that the decision was quick.

'Let's transfer to a correspondence high school.'

The time it took to decide that was shorter than I thought.
Of course, I worried and cried at that moment.

But thinking about it now, that time was very short.

In fact, since she transferred in the autumn of her first year of high school, she had moved to the next place before I could feel it was 'school refusal'.



Because of that.

Even when my second daughter couldn't go to school, I didn't think of it as 'school refusal'.

The place of learning was not just one

'School refusal' inevitably sounds like a negative word.

But.
It is just a state of 'not being able to go to school'.

In reality, 'a place to learn' is not just school.

It could be cram school, or it could be a prep school.
Now, there is even YouTube.

Thinking about it that way.
It could be said that my second daughter jumped out of school andre-selected her place of learning herself.

That's why, back then, I

didn't think of my second daughter as having 'school refusal'.

There was just a period where she couldn't go to school.
She was just learning in a different place.

That was all it was.

This article was part 21 of the 'Freelance Daily Life 2026' series.
▶ Next, 22 is here
▶ ① is here


▼ The overall map of this series is here

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