What is the purpose of embarrassment?

I felt very embarrassed recently.

What do you imagine when you hear that?

Did I make a big mistake in front of people?

Was I laughed at by someone?

Most people would assume I was the one put in an embarrassing situation.

However, I didn't make a mistake, nor was I laughed at.

I was just watching.

I was watching a fan giving a gift to a professional baseball player they admire.

Even though it had nothing to do with me, for some reason I felt so embarrassed I couldn't look directly at it.

Was I worried about what would happen if they were rejected?

Did I dislike the attention it was drawing?

I also can't bear to watch actors delivering cheesy lines or comedians making jokes in situations where they clearly won't get a laugh.

Is this what they call "empathetic embarrassment"?

There are several situations where people feel embarrassed, and I think there is an awareness of "being watched by someone" in those moments.

I can't help but care about what others think of me.

Not knowing what to wear on my days off is surely for the same reason.

I live my life surrounding myself with invisible defensive lines so that I don't get hurt.

That's just being overly self-conscious.

I know in my head that nobody is paying attention.

But when it comes down to it, I can't help but worry about the eyes of those around me, and sometimes I can't take that first step.

Right now, that version of myself is what I find most embarrassing.

Objectively speaking, it is nothing more than a missed opportunity.

I don't care what people around me think.

If I can face the person I want to reach and share something with them directly, that is enough.

Once I realized that, I stopped understanding what I was even feeling ashamed for.

As long as you follow basic manners and morals within the bounds of the law, why not live as you please?

Does a parent who scolds a child for crying on a train just because they feel embarrassed really have the child's best interests at heart?

Japan may have a deeply rooted 'culture of shame,' but I feel that when we let go of shame, we can shine more like our true selves.

No matter how embarrassing it may be, you are cooler than anyone else when you are earnest.

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Thank you for reading until the end.