[Japanese-English Bilingual Series] "Elections and Depression" Script Collection 15: Taro Aso Impression - The Arrival of the Ultimate Weapon, Matazo Mimata

TARO ASO'S IMITATION

T: On July 3rd, 2022, seven days later, it will be election day, Hakata.

Aoyagi: Hakase, seven days to go.

Hakase: Yeah, seven days.

Aoyagi: How does it feel?

Hakase: Oh, which media outlet are you from?

Aoyagi: Actually, I'm freelance right now. I'm Aoyagi, a documentary filmmaker.

Hakase: Oh, then you don't have much influence, do you?

Aoyagi: That's right. I'm not very well-known.

Hakase: Oh, you're not well-known. You just have very little influence.

Aoyagi: Yes.

Hakase: I don't want to be here. I'll get in trouble. Are you still poor?

Aoyagi: Yes. As for money, I'm receiving a scholarship...

Hakase: Oh, I see. Do you want to come with me? I'll pay you 300 million yen.

Aoyagi: Really?

Hakase: Sure.

Aoyagi: So then...

Hakase: But, I will treat you like a slave.

Aoyagi: Ah, that's... I'm really scared he was like Mr. Aso.

Hakase: Ha ha ha ha.

THE IMPRESSION IS STRANGELY GOOD

The election team

We are in the election car.

The election staff: I'm Hakase Suidobashi. Nice to see you!

Hakase: If you don't like me, please like Hakase Suidobashi.

The election staff: Taro Aso likes Hakase Suidobashi too! Who would you like to write down on the second voting paper?

Hakase: On the second voting paper, Hakase Suidobashi is the best choice. Please pay attention to him.

Yamamoto: Can you imitate Shinzo Abe?

The election staff: Here is Shinzo Abe.

Hakase: Everyone, I will recommend Hakase Suidobashi. I think Hakase Suidobashi can lead Japan. For LDP supporters, please support Reiwa Shinsengumi from now on. I hope they can do it!

The election staff: Please vote for him! Shinzo Abe and Taro Aso will recommend Hakase Suidobashi with passion. Please support him.

Yamamoto: This is terrible, a terrible thing to do.

Hakase: They're going to be angry.

Yamamoto: Are they going to get angry? That's too bad.

The election staff: Thank you very much!

Hakase: Thank you.

T: The results of election survey predictions: The LDP and Komeito will secure more than half of the seats. Reiwa Shinsengumi will get 2 or 3 seats. Hakase will lose by a very narrow margin. This election is impossible to predict for anyone.

THE LAST WEAPON, MATAZO MIMATA

T: July 5th, 2022. Five days until election day. Shinbashi, Tokyo.

Hirotada Ototake's election team: Yeah!

Hirotada Ototake (Ototake): Good afternoon.

T: Hirotada Ototake, independent candidate for the Tokyo Electoral District.

Hakase: Good afternoon, sir. It's been a while since we last met.

Ototake: Oh, yes. Back in Shibuya.

Hakase: Oh, Shibuya. I'm pleased to see you.

Ototake: Likewise. Are you tired? You've been traveling all over the country.

Hakase: How about you? I think you've lost some weight.

Ototake: About 3 kilograms.

Hakase: I see.

Ototake: My voice is still hoarse.

Hakase: I'm going to give a speech after this, so please take it easy.

Ototake: Well, I'll keep going until the 30th.

Hakase: Okay, okay. Please, go ahead.

Ototake: Thank you very much. Take care of yourself.

Hakase: Of course, I will.

We are giving a street speech at Shinbashi Station.

T: The Hakase team's ultimate weapon appears in Shinbashi.

Matazo Mimata (Mimata): At 60 years old, one of the men, Hakase Suidobashi, is entering politics with Reiwa Shinsengumi.

T: Matazo Mimata, the comedian.

Mimata: I want us to come together at this moment. If I say "3rd Year Class B!!", everyone, please say "Mr. Kinpachi!!" Okay? Ready? "3rd Year Class B~!"

Audience: "Mr. Kinpachi~!"

Mimata: Thank you very much.

Mimata: One, two, three, four! Let's cheer up~! Hakase goes to fight with clumsy things every day wherever you go~♪ Hey! One more time!♪

On the election car

Mimata: Well, well, Hakase. That was fun.

Hakase: No way. Only you had fun. You just treated it like karaoke.

Mimata: That's the point. I thought he told me that Mimata's phrase is simple and good for them.

Hakase: How crazy. After that, Mimata kept the young man in his room until 6 o'clock and asked, "How was it?" You just have a desire for self-exposure...

Mimata: No, no, wait a second! You've got it wrong.

Hakase: Everyone has no energy at all.

Mimata: I know, I know.

WORDS & PHRASES

imitation
get in trouble
receive
I will treat you like a slave.
pay attention to
imitate
the result of election survey prediction
Hirotada Ototake
independant
lose one's weight
come together
3rd years' class B!!
Mr. Kinpachi!!
Let's cheer up~!♪ Hakase goes fight with the clumsy thing everyday wherever you go~♪

that's the point
how crazy
desire for self-exposure
wait a second!

Taro Aso Impression

T: July 3, 2022. 7 days until voting. Hakata.

Aoyagi: Hakase, there is only one week left.

Hakase: Only one week left, huh.

Aoyagi: Yes, does it feel real to you?

Hakase: Which station are you from?

Aoyagi: I work freelance. My name is Aoyagi, and I am a documentary film director.

Hakase: Then you don't have any influence, do you?

Aoyagi: My name recognition is really quite low, but...

Hakase: You have no name recognition, and no reach.

Aoyagi: Yes.

Hakase: It's a problem if someone like you comes here. Are you poor?

Aoyagi: Yes. I have money, like student loans I've borrowed...

Hakase: Oh, I see. If you come to work for me, I'll give you some, maybe about 3 million.

Aoyagi: Are you serious?

Hakase: I'll give it to you.

Aoyagi: Oh, in that case...

Hakase: But I'll use you like a slave for the rest of your life.

Aoyagi: Yes, no, I'm actually starting to think like Mr. Aso now, and it's scary.

Hakase: Hahahaha.

Starting to feel a mysterious sense of success with the impression

Election Team

Inside the campaign car

Election Staff: Suidobashi Hakase, we're counting on you!

Hakase: Even if you come to hate me, please don't hate Suidobashi Hakase.

Election Staff: Taro Aso is also Suidobashi Hakase! What about the second ballot?

Hakase: The second ballot, you see, is for Suidobashi Hakase. Please pay attention to him.

Yamamoto-kun: Hakase, you can do Shinzo Abe too, right?

Hakase: Everyone, I, would like to recommend Suidobashi Hakase. I believe that Suidobashi Hakase is the very talent who can carry Japan on his shoulders. Everyone who supports the Liberal Democratic Party, from now on, I want you to support Reiwa. This is what I believe!

Election Staff: Thank you very much. Both Shinzo Abe and Taro Aso are strongly supporting Suidobashi Hakase. Thank you.

Yamamoto-kun: This is dangerous. This is dangerous.

Hakase: We're going to get in trouble.

Yamamoto-kun: We will, won't we? This is really bad.

Election Staff: Thank you very much!

Hakase: Thank you very much.

T: Results of the situation survey: The LDP-Komeito coalition is expected to exceed half the seats / Reiwa Shinsengumi is expected to win 2-3 seats in the proportional representation / Hakase is on the borderline, it's completely unpredictable.

The Arrival of the Ultimate Weapon, Matamatazo

T: July 5, 2022, 5 days until the vote count, Shimbashi, Tokyo

Hirotada Ototake Election Team: Oh!

Hirotada Ototake (hereinafter, Ototake): Good work.

T: Independent, Tokyo Electoral District Candidate, Hirotada Ototake

Hakase: Good work. We finally met.

Ototake: Yes, in Shibuya.

Hakase: In Shibuya. Thank you very much.

Ototake: Thank you too. Aren't you tired from traveling all over the country?

Hakase: How about you, Sensei? You look like you've lost weight.

Ototake: I've lost 3 kilograms.

Hakase: I thought so.

Ototake: My voice is raspy too.

Hakase: I'll take over after this, so please, by all means.

Ototake: Yes, please let me do it here until 30 minutes past.

Hakase: Yes, by all means. Please, go ahead.

Ototake: Thank you. Let's both do our best.

Hakase: Let's do our best.

Street speech in front of Shimbashi Station

T: The Hakase team's ultimate weapon has finally arrived.

Matamatazo (hereinafter, Matamata): He's reached the age of 60, the big 60. Suidobashi Hakase is entering the political world from Reiwa Shinsengumi.

T: Comedian Matamatazo

Matamata: I want us to unite our feelings for a moment. When I say '3rd Year B Class!', I want you all to say 'Kin-pachi Sensei!'. Here we go, 'Third year, B-class!'.

Audience: 'Kin-pachi Sensei!'

Matamata: Thank you.

Matamata: One, two, three, four! Come on, let's do our best! Hakase is surely fighting somewhere today, against these clumsy days, surely♪ Hey, one more time!

Inside the campaign car:

Matamata: Man, Hakase, elections are the best.

Hakase: They are not the best. You're the only one who thinks this is karaoke.

Matamata: You know, people actually tell me that. They say Matamata-san's words are very simple and good.

Hakase: Don't say that yourself. After that, for the sake of your own need for approval, you keep young guys in your room until 6 AM, asking them, 'How was I today?' and...

Matamata: Wait a minute! No, no, no, Hakase, that's not it.

Hakase: Everyone is already out of energy.

Matamata: No, I understand.

NOTE

■ I will treat you like a slave.

"Slave" is a noun meaning "dorei." While it sounds like something Taro Aso might say, he has never actually stated it.

■ imitate

A transitive verb meaning "to mimic (someone, etc.)." Suidobashi Hakase developed a campaign strategy to attract voters by delivering laughter and humor through his impressions of Taro Aso and Shinzo Abe.

■ Hirotada Ototake

Hirotada Ototake. Writer and political activist. Born in 1976. He has a congenital limb deficiency and was born without arms or legs. He views his handicap as a unique trait and works as a freelancer, vowing to convey that people can live bright and happy lives even with disabilities. His book "No One's Perfect" became a bestseller with 4.15 million copies sold. He has experience working as an
elementary school teacher affiliated with the Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education. In recent years, he has focused on political activities. He serves as an advisor to Tomin First no Kai.

■ 3rd years' class B!! Mr. Kinpachi!!

The famous line "3rd Year Class B!! Mr. Kinpachi!!" comes from a TBS school drama that aired from 1979 to 2011. The protagonist, Kinpachi Sakamoto, is a Japanese language teacher at a school who works hard to guide his students. While usually gentle, he has a passionate side that hates turning a blind eye to actions that go against morality or what should be done. His famous line about the meaning of the kanji for "person" (hito)—that it represents people supporting each other—resonated with viewers and the show instantly became a hit.
Matamatazo planned a strategy to appeal to voters using the "3rd Year Class B!! Mr. Kinpachi!!" line, but Suidobashi Hakase was dissatisfied, believing it was done only for Matamata's own self-satisfaction.

■ Let's cheer up~!♪ Hakase goes fight with the clumsy thing everyday wherever you go~♪

An original song that Matamata suddenly started singing. "Come on, let's do our best!♪ Hakase is surely fighting somewhere today against these clumsy days♪" are lyrics he wrote himself, intended to encourage Suidobashi Hakase's election campaign.
"Let's cheer up!" is a direct translation of "Let's lift our faces!" and carries the message of "Let's do our best." "Clumsy" is an adjective meaning "awkward" or "unskillful." It is a word not often seen in movie or drama dialogue.

↓ Writer Hirotada Ototake Gendai Business

https://gendai.media/list/author/hirotadaototake

↓ Hirotada Ototake Official Website

↓ Bungeishunju PLUS Channel [The Current State of Tomin First "Advisor" Hirotada Ototake] "I can't win an election" | Causes of defeat in the Tokyo 15th District by-election | Actually "better suited for behind-the-scenes work" | Yuriko Koike's thoughtfulness "My water bottle..." | Ambitions of the Koike administration - Aired March 6, 2025

↓ 3rd Year Class B Mr. Kinpachi Wikipedia

↓ Fujin Koron "Tetsuya Takeda x Golgo Matsumoto: Was 'The character for person is...' an ad-lib!? The secret story behind the terrifyingly big hit 'Mr. Kinpachi'" December 8, 2021

↓ Jojuku BAR [Maiko Kawakami] '3rd Year Class B Mr. Kinpachi' Season 2: I will talk about the behind-the-scenes episodes of the filming without holding anything back!? January 12, 2025

↓ Suidobashi Hakase's Strange Conversation YouTube Channel "Matamatazo x Suidobashi Hakase x Director Taku Aoyagi 'Elections and Depression' Special Conversation / Sonomanma Higashi / Ryutaro Kamioka / Election Campaign Road Trip / AI Poster Championship / The Big Flame-up Over the B'z Incident" Streamed June 23, 2025