Entrusting Wishes to Tanabata Strips (For My Beloved Dog) #Torakichi's First Exchange Room Project

Riding the evening train, I suddenly looked at the sunset reflected in the window, and I couldn't stop the tears.
As I gaze at the many photos saved on my smartphone, I find myself feeling the cruelty in how quickly the days pass.

I couldn't sleep well last night.
All night long, I could hear a pained voice in my dreams.
As the breathing gradually slowed down, I prayed to God.

"Please, just one more day, let me stay with her for just one more day!"
Even while I was praying, the sound of her breathing became intermittent, and finally, it stopped.
"You've gone to heaven now, haven't you..."
Looking at my beloved dog sleeping quietly in my arms, I lost my voice.

The alarm clock rang above my head. It's morning.
My beloved dog Coco (10 years old, female) came near my face and, as usual, pushed her little nose against me. "Good morning." "Whimper."

There, there, you're a good girl today, too.
Even as I think that, I cannot wipe away a lingering sense of anxiety and fear.
For my beloved dog, who has passed the age of 10 and is now considered a senior dog, it wouldn't be strange if anything happened.

I have been having this dream for many days now.
If the day comes when this becomes reality, what will happen to me?

Will I be able to go to work?
I probably won't be able to swallow any food for a while.
I don't even have the confidence that I could continue this note.

I don't think the word 'pet loss' can even begin to describe it.
Because she is family. She is like a child who has been with me for about a third of my life.

I would gladly give up a third of my own lifespan if it meant she could live healthily for even one day longer.
That is all I want.
I want to spend many more seasons together.

"Hey, Coco-chan. Tomorrow is a day called 'Tanabata'. They say you can see a river in the beautiful sky. It's an even more beautiful river than the one we always go to for our walks."

"There's something called a 'tanzaku' (wish strip), and if you write a wish on it, God will grant you one wish. Since you can't write, shall I write it for you? I've already decided what to write."

Coco came closer with a 'Hmm?' look on her face.
It seems she wants a treat more than anything like that.
I can't help it (laughs).
I can't help but smile.

This child is doing her best to live 'today' rather than worrying about the distant future. That in itself is a very important thing.

Come to think of it, perhaps this time right now, where we can spend our days leisurely and healthily together, is the happiest time of all.
God is always mean. He won't let us be happy forever.
He cruelly decides the beginning and the end.

But, I want to cherish the present for just a little longer.
Yes, just a little longer...

Recently, her chewing strength has weakened, and she can no longer eat the hard gum she used to love. Her legs have also developed arthritis due to being a senior dog, and she sometimes seems to have trouble walking.
Her body has definitely become weaker than when she was young.

The time remaining from here on out will likely be much shorter than the time we have spent together so far.

What is a dog's life...
What is a dog's happiness...
What can I leave behind for this little life...

Nice to meet you from today, you're a healthy puppy, you were able to use the toilet properly, you've become able to eat hard food, you love walks, you understand people's feelings, you're a good girl.

I'm sorry, thank you, I'm happy, I'm sad, it's delicious, I'm lonely, it smells good, thank you for waiting for me, good morning, good night, I'm home, I'm leaving, it's fun.

Countless words we have spoken together until now.
When I look back, complex feelings cross my heart.
I'm a lousy owner, aren't I...

"Coco-chan, look at me properly. This is important, so look me in the eyes and listen."

"Coco-chan, Tanabata only comes once a year. Only once. A smart girl like you understands what that means, right... Tomorrow, let's look at the beautiful river floating in the night sky together. Next year, the year after that, and the year after that, forever. I hope it's sunny tomorrow."
Her round eyes blinked in agreement.

The eve of Tanabata, which happens only once a year.
I poured my prayers into a strip of paper and gently entrusted a single wish to the bamboo leaves.

I usually try not to make my readers feel heavy-hearted here on note, but please forgive me just this once. I couldn't hold back the overflowing emotions myself >.<

The reason I decided to write this Tanabata article is because of this post by Mana-san.
Mana-san, thank you so much (^^)

　　　　 Comments are very welcome 💡