A story about how 'anyway' and 'as expected' are always searching for something

Hello. This is Shinkai. This is my 6th post. Thank you for visiting!

The other day, when I took out the trash in the morning, even though I had put a crow-proof net over it, it seems the crows pulled it out through a gap and the trash was scattered everywhere. This was the first time in the 10 years I've lived here.

I happened to be off work and at home, but I didn't notice it had been raided by crows until someone—I think a neighbor—rang my doorbell to let me know.
I was grateful that there was such a kind person.
(Lately, I've really only encountered kindness.)

Then, while I was cleaning up the scattered trash with a broom, the garbage truck came and collected 80% of the trash I had cleaned up.

However, the remaining 20% hadn't been cleaned up yet, so I spent about 5 minutes cleaning that up afterwards.

Just as I was thinking, 'I'll put this out with the trash next week,' the garbage truck actually came back, and the sanitation worker got out of the truck and said, 'I'll take that too,' and collected it for me.
Once again, how kind they were.

“Anyway, I am loved💕”
“As expected, I am loved💕😊”

So, today I would like to write about
the law of 'anyway' and 'as expected' and
how it works.

Why do we assume the worst-case scenario?

Anyway, I am [blank]. What would you put in this blank?
Anyway, I will fail? Anyway, I will be disliked? Anyway, I will be put last? Anyway, I am unlucky?
What did you put in the blank?

For example, when you go into a new environment, you might think, 'I wonder if I can make friends with someone,' but what follows that? Do you think, 'Surely there will be someone I get along with,' or do you think, 'Surely I won't be able to get along with anyone. Maybe I'll be disliked'? What follows for you?

For those who think, 'Surely I will be disliked,' this isnegative thinking that assumes a pessimistic future but why do people think that way?

It is because 'I am afraid of getting hurt.'

If you think, 'I will surely be disliked,' then when that really happens, you won't be hurt, or even if you are hurt, because you had already thought that way, the gap is smaller than if you had imagined something 'fun,' and the wound is less severe.

If you assume the worst-case scenario, you can say, 'Well, it's better than that,' right?
It can also be considered a way to gain a sense of security.

I'm sure you've protected your heart from being hurt in that way, but there is a pitfall to that way of thinking.

The law of 'anyway' and 'as expected'

When you think this way, that reality actually happens.

This is because the thought 'anyway, I will be disliked' searches for the reality of 'as expected, I was disliked.'


It collects evidence of events where 'as expected, I was disliked.'It only searches for and picks up those things.In psychology, this is called

confirmation bias .Even if you are liked or get along with someone, you ignore that and search for evidence that 'as expected, I was disliked.'For example, just because there are no likes on social media,


you think, 'See, as expected, I was disliked.'
You keep searching until you hit the 'jackpot!' (See, as expected, I was disliked, right?) for yourself. Or rather, you end up acting in a way that makes that happen. (Self-fulfilling prophecy)

In reality, that's not the case at all.

The mechanism of the brain

It is said that the part you can consciously control is about 5%, and the remaining 95% is unconscious. That 95% of the unconscious seems to focus on what you are thinking about unconsciously in your brain.

It seems the brain judges that 'what you are always thinking about is important.'

Seeing things as they are without judgment

If you can notice this kind of thinking, you can change it.

First, just by thinking, 'Oh, I see, I was thinking that way,' there is no need to judge that thinking as bad or good. It's just that you have that habit of thinking.

However, if this thinking is painful, notice it -> accept it by saying, 'There is a part of me that thinks that way' -> and then ask yourself, 'So, what do you want to do?'

For every version of yourself, only you can fully support yourself. I am convinced that if you do this, you will eventually realize that you had a lot of love within you.

Rather than saying the world changes, it is that the world looks different.

Thank you for reading.

*My popular article "The story of graduating from an online university at 49"
is also something I would be happy if you could read!

References
This article is based on the books by Jinnosuke Kokoroya.