The Day a 'Place I Never Wanted to Go Again' Transformed into a 'Stage to Deliver My Love'

—Living with Three Generations and a Family Business—

Hello! I'm Aiko!
Today, I'd like to write about a major change that happened within my heart.

I live in an environment with three generations under one roof, while also being involved in our family business.
At my husband's family home, I live with him and his family (his father, mother, and grandmother),
and I also help out with our customer service business.

Hearing that might give you a warm image (and the family members are indeed warm!),
but honestly, at first, it was very painful for me.

Up until then, due to schizophrenia and my own laziness, I hadn't done any housework or worked at my parents' home,
living freely and at my own pace.
But the moment I married into this family, my life changed completely,
I started doing housework and working in the family business,
and I was thrown into a world where my lifestyle, values, and everything else were different.

The lack of freedom, the discipline, the roles, the responsibilities...
With one unfamiliar thing after another, my heart grew heavy,
and there were many times I returned to my parents' home, thinking, 'I might not be able to do this anymore.'

However, after taking a basic course from an instructor at the School of Thinking and consulting about it,
they told me, 'You aren't putting enough energy into taking care of others yourself.
The more energy you put out, the more comes back, so you should put out the energy of "I'm going to take care of them from now on."'.

The very next day, I felt an endless "love" overflowing from within me.
I, who had only ever sought to be given things,
had come to truly feel from the bottom of my heart that I wanted to "give" and "make someone happy."

That's when I suddenly remembered
my beloved hamster, "Juju," whom I used to have.

Through taking care of Juju, I learned
the joy of "putting effort into someone else."
The time I spent feeding a small life and cleaning its cage
filled my heart with so much warmth.

At that moment, I realized,
"I loved taking care of others from the bottom of my heart."

Through taking care of Juju, I had realized that "taking care of someone = expressing love."
It was the moment I understood that the "happiness" I felt back then is still within me even now.

And now, in my life at my husband's family home,
I find myself beginning to feel the same "love" I once directed toward Juju.

The place I married into has restrictions and rules.
It seemed far removed from freedom,
but when I felt that it was actually a "stage" where I could pour out my love,
the place I had hated so much began to look like a sparkling paradise.

Cooking meals for the family,
welcoming customers in our business,
these aren't "things I have to do,"
but "a place to express my love."

Of course, living with three generations isn't easy.
Differences in values, differences in daily rhythms, pressure, being considerate...
Even with the family business, there is the reality that we cannot be laid back.

But there, I had "someone to pour my love into" and "an opportunity to grow myself."

I didn't want to stay in the lukewarm environment of my parents' home; I wanted to train myself in an environment that also had its rigors.

Someone once said,
"Love is strict."

When I realized that, I even became able to feel grateful for this environment.

At first, I resisted 'living within limitations,' but
now I feel it is the 'best stage to put my love to use.'

I am not perfect yet, and I feel anxious sometimes.
I am shy, and I am sure there will be times when I want to run away.
However, love has already awakened within me.
And I already know the place where I can deliver it.

The place where I once cried in my heart, 'I don't want to go back there anymore,' has
quietly transformed into a place where I wish to 'deliver my love.'

—

I wrote this because I wanted to etch this change into my heart.
And if someone is struggling in the same way or is about to lose sight of love,
I would be happy if these words could gently reach them.

May your love shine in your own unique way today as well 🌿

—
I am delivering this after making some revisions to text generated with ChatGPT (it is all based on real experience!)