🔥DAY 10 "When I Stopped Being a 'Nice Person,' My Life Started Moving"
"You're such a nice person."
Have you ever felt a bit uneasy when someone said that to you?
Even though you should be happy, why does it make you feel unsettled deep down?
Today, I'm going to talk about the reason behind that.
By the way, I don't feel very good when people call me a nice person anymore.
—
■ Being a "Nice Person" Was a "Strategy" for Survival
Most people didn't become a "nice person" intentionally.
・To avoid making the atmosphere awkward
・To avoid being scolded
・To avoid being disliked
・To be praised by adults
・To make family feel at ease
Before you knew it,
"It was safer to act that way."
That's all it was.
Especially in childhood,
within family, school, and relationships,
the more you took on roles like:
"The child who can endure"
"The child who is no trouble"
"The child who can read the room"
the better you became at being a "nice person."
But that wasn't kindness; it was adaptability.
It was a very clever choice
to survive.
—
■ Why Being a "Nice Person" Becomes Painful Later On
The problem is
continuing that strategy even after becoming an adult.
When you were a child,
there was someone to protect you.
But as an adult,
・No one speaks your true feelings for you
・Enduring doesn't get you rewarded
・Only a sense of discomfort from being unappreciated accumulates
Even so,
you can't stop being a "nice person."
Because—
Being a nice person = Having value
you are convinced of this somewhere deep down.
—
■ The Illusion That "If I'm Disliked, It's Over"
The biggest reason you can't stop being a nice person.
It is
the fear of being disliked.
But here, I want you to
think about it calmly for a moment.
If you express your true feelings a little,
will everything really fall apart?
Will the relationship end?
If it does end,
it wasn't a relationship that "you" broke.
A relationship that only existed because you were enduring
has simply changed its form.
Whether you call that broken,
or call it set right.
—
■ Stopping Being a "Nice Person" Does Not Mean Being Selfish
This is often misunderstood.
Stopping being a nice person
= Becoming self-centered
= Ignoring those around you
That's not it.
What I'm saying in the Hapi-Kuri course is,
"Don't ignore your own senses."
Just that.
・I felt uncomfortable
・I felt something was off
・I realized I was pushing myself too hard
Don't pretend
that those facts didn't happen.
You don't have to blame the other person.
You don't have to provide the right answer.
First,
don't lie to yourself.
That is the entrance to having a self-axis.
—
■ The Reason Your Life Was Stalled Was Here
You're working hard, but you don't feel fulfilled.
Even when you're praised, you feel empty.
You're doing everything right, yet you're in pain.
The cause is
not a lack of effort,
nor a lack of ability,
but the habit of putting yourself last.
Stopping being a nice person isn't about adding something.
It's about stopping.
・The habit of enduring
・The habit of reading too much into things
・The habit of leaving yourself behind
Just by letting go of these one by one,
your life will quietly start to move.
—
■ Finally
You don't have to deny the past you who was a nice person.
Thanks to that,
you were able to survive until now.
But from here on out—
it's okay to pass the baton to "the person who values themselves."
Because a "nice person" is just a "convenient person" to others.
Next,
"So, how should I handle my true feelings?"
We will proceed with that specifically.
#SelfDevelopment #LivingAuthentically #BeYourself #SelfAxis #SelfGrowth #Coaching #Counseling #HapiKuri #WayOfLife #SelfDesign #SuperSelfAxis #HapiNiisan