📖DAY 9: 'How to Immediately Release the Burden of Relationships'

Childhood habits remain more strongly in your current life than you might think.
But conversely, they are also areas that can be rewritten all at once through 'small actions'.

Today, I will introduce three ways to do that.
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■ 1. Say out loud, 'This might be an old habit'

Moments when relationships become burdensome include:

・When you are overly concerned with how others feel

・When you couldn't say no

・When you were too considerate
・When you try too hard because you feel expected to
Around these times, just say one thing:
'Oh, this is an old habit.'

That's all you need!

The reason is—

Because 'the moment you notice it, it is no longer unconscious'.

When it moves from the unconscious to the conscious realm, you become able to choose your actions yourself.

This is the first step toward having a self-centered perspective.
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■ 2. Pause just once and ask, 'What do I really want to do?'
Relationship troubles get complicated because we act on reflex.

・Not wanting to be disliked

・Not wanting to be scolded

・Wanting to be thought of well

These are all 'reflexes'.
So, just take 2 or 3 seconds.

Ask yourself, 'What do I really want to do?'
Then—
・You don't have to force a reply

・You don't have to try so hard

・The other person's mood is their own problem

・It's okay to distance yourself if you're tired

You will start to see these healthy options.

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■ 3. Try adjusting your distance from people 'physically'
For those who find it difficult to distance themselves mentally, it is easier to start by changing the physical distance.
For example...
・Delay your LINE replies by 15 minutes

・Don't pack your schedule too tightly

・Step away for 5 minutes when you're tired

・Create days where you don't get deeply involved

Even just doing this will help align your mental distance.
The point is the order:

'Action → Feelings change'.

It is painful because you try to change from your feelings.
Actions are much easier.
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■ Just one last thing

Relationship troubles are not about your personality.
It's just that 'old rules' remain.

And today's three points are ways to overwrite those rules.

・Notice

・Choose

・Adjust the distance
Just by continuing these three things, relationship stress will naturally decrease.

And you will be able to build your own self-centered perspective.

#SelfDevelopment #LivingAuthentically #BeYourself #SelfCenteredPerspective #SelfGrowth #Coaching #Counseling #HapiKuri #WayOfLife #SelfDesign #SuperSelfCentered