Was I a cat in a past life? On note, the verbalization skills honed through work bring back the thoughts of a one-year-old (Essay / #WhatIWantToTellYouNow)

I have almost no memories of my early childhood.

When I see people who can talk about their nursery school memories in such detail, I am truly impressed.

What was I thinking about when I lived as a young child? I feel like I might have just been blanking out, not thinking about anything at all.

However, there is one vivid memory.

While most of the memory balls are only labeled with things like "sleepy" or "hungry," this one ball has a microchip embedded in it.

……………………

Before I started nursery school, back when I was crawling around. I estimate I was about one year old.

To convey this precious thought memo, I, as an adult, need to explain the situation at the time.

• My father was a civil servant, and my mother was a full-time housewife

• We lived in an old civil servant housing complex

• At the time, the economy was booming, but civil servant salaries were low, and we were a family without much money

Even though we must have been living paycheck to paycheck, one day, a large stereo was placed in our home. I think they must have really splurged on it.

The speaker was about the same height as my head when I sat down as a one-year-old.

Perhaps it was a common design at the time, but the surface of the speaker was covered in a black, fuzzy material.

Naturally, as a one-year-old, I thought, "What is this?" and approached it.

I reached out to the surface of the speaker. When I pinched the black fuzz, it pulled out easily with a pop, even with my one-year-old strength.

I was told, "No," and pulled away. I thought, "I see, so it's not allowed."

I didn't touch the speaker that day.

However, the next day, for some reason, I was left unsupervised.

Neither my father nor my mother was there.

I was bored, so I went over to the speaker.

I reached out my hand. I yanked out a piece of the black fuzzy stuff.

"I got scolded yesterday. I'm not supposed to yank it out."

I yanked out another piece.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this."

I yanked out another piece.

"I'm going to get in trouble. I should stop after a little more."

Yank, yank.

Of course, my parents didn't show up at a time like this.

Before I knew it, there was nowhere left to pull from.

Around where I was sitting, the black fuzzy bits were scattered like hair after a haircut.

"Oh no, this is a disaster. Am I going to get in trouble..."

Finally, my parents appeared.

It must have been a shocking sight. I was picked up and carried away somewhere.

I thought I would get scolded a lot, but surprisingly, there was no reprimand.

From their perspective, I was just a baby saying 'da' and 'ah'.

Something like a cat that doesn't understand language.

But this is what I was thinking.

"Oh man, I did something bad. They could have scolded me a little. I knew I was doing something bad. It wasn't that it was fun, I was just pulling it because I was bored. I thought about stopping halfway, but I took it all off. I'm sorry. Even though it was something important to Dad."
(*This is truly how I felt inside at the time.)

I don't know how my parents took this incident.

Maybe they just let it slide, or maybe it was a traumatic shock, judging by the fact that music was never played in the house after that.

I had always thought we were a family with no connection to music... but there is a possibility that I am the culprit.

"I knew it, I knew it was wrong. Maybe I was a cat in a past life. Or maybe my brain was still close to that of an animal."

“Ah, I’ve even come to understand how a cat feels. A cat that boldly makes a mess of the house doesn’t have any malicious intent. It’s not that they did it because it was fun, they just couldn’t stop themselves.”

“Even so, you two are amazing for being able to restrain yourselves without getting angry. I can buy you any speaker you want now, so please don’t hesitate to tell me.”

That is how I think now that I am an adult.

▼Here is the kind of person who wrote this article▼

▼I also write about my family from time to time▼