Should you live alone? (Pressure)

There is a saying often heard when you are young.

「一人暮らしはしないの？」

There is a saying you might hear when you get older.

「もしかして一人暮らしをしたことない？」

To begin with, what does it mean to live alone?

Most dictionaries probably define it as something like 'living independently without any cohabitants...'

The question of living alone when you are young carries various meanings.

「楽しい経験だからした方がいいよ」

「生きる術が自然に(嫌でも)学べるからした方がいいよ」

「成人したら独立するのが当然だからね、頑張りなよ」

There are many ways to phrase it and many intentions behind it, but fundamentally, it is a suggestion made out of unsolicited advice or good intentions.

Conversely, when said after you have aged, it is often accompanied by negative emotions in many situations.

This is because living alone is an 'experience,' a 'skill,' and also a 'status.'

Therefore, if the person in question is not a young person just starting out in society, and the person asking is not close to them, it is used as material for questioning their abilities or as a way to assert dominance.

In short, it is a way of saying, 'You haven't even lived alone?' even though it seems like you haven't acquired common life experiences. (While saying it directly is a bit much, there are parts where it isn't off the mark in terms of judging capability.)

My personal opinion is that 'if possible, you should try living alone.' There is no deep meaning to it; there is no harm in gaining experience you haven't had before, and above all, living alone offers freedom (ﾟ∀ﾟ) Yay!

Of course, some people may find it doesn't suit them or may find it hard to leave their family. That is also a valid choice, so if there are no future concerns, I don't think there is a need to force yourself to live alone. Unless you are in a situation where you want to escape, in most cases, you can save more money living at home (lol).

However, even if you don't go as far as mastering household chores or budgeting skills, I do think you should at least understand how difficult the various things required for living alone actually are.

Especially now that times have changed, you can solve various household chores with money, and I think the harsh eyes of society have softened considerably. Even so, if you don't know the difficulties, you won't be able to choose appropriate services, and you might end up committing the foolish act of asserting dominance over household chores to a third party, not just your spouse. (Can't you even make potato salad?)

If there is anyone who has reached a certain age but

「実は一人暮らしの経験がなく肩身が狭い」

might be saying that, why not try inserting the memory of a 'virtual' solo living experience?

Whether it's travel or anything else, if you have frequently visited places other than your hometown, you can substitute that experience—even if it was staying at a friend's house or living in hotels—as living alone.

If you don't have such experience, even your hometown is fine. Of course, it might be tough if the person you are talking to is an acquaintance, but if it's someone you don't know well, you can get by just fine.

Of course, even if you have never lived alone, you need to have accumulated enough experience to be capable of living alone, but I think you can get away with it unless the person you are talking to is malicious like a snake.

Are you asking if it's rude to lie?

No, I think the person who tries to assert dominance over something as trivial as whether or not you live alone is the one being rude (lol).

Besides, if someone brings it up without malice and the other person has a "living alone complex," I would feel more at ease if they just lied to get through it. Even if I noticed, I wouldn't bring it up, and usually, it's just a conversation starter because they want to get closer and are looking for common ground.

I don't generally recommend piling on lies, but if it's a lie that acts like a bandage to heal your own wounds without bothering anyone else, I think it's acceptable. If it helps remove the knot in your chest and lets you move forward, I'd almost want to call it something other than the negative word "lie." (By the way, lying about being a Tokyo University graduate is a no-go.)

However, if there is one thing to be careful about... it's that once your "air-living-alone" experience reaches a high level, you shouldn't transform into a "living alone" elitist yourself (；´Д｀) Don't be a snob.

As for me, you might ask... well, I have experience with a triple (!) life including both inside and outside the prefecture, but perhaps I might be an "air-experience" person myself. In the first place (though I don't keep it very secret), aside from lies that cause others harm on an anonymous-friendly SNS, what importance does my personal background have anyway?Oh, the content of each magazine is fiction, but it's true! (；´Д｀) What does that even mean?

Besides, nowadays with just one smartphone, you can walk virtual paths and check the atmosphere of a place through videos... it's a convenient era.

Well, the Showa and Heisei eras have passed, and now it's Reiwa... the forms of society and family have changed, and I think it's not as stifling as it used to be... or rather, I hope that's the case (ﾟ∀ﾟ)

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This is the only topic in my magazine that deals with something a bit more serious (ﾟдﾟ) It doesn't suit me, does it?