Why I felt uneasy hearing "hurry up" in a developmental support setting

Recently, I heard something in a developmental support setting that suddenly made me feel uneasy.
It is a common way of speaking to children.

"Hurry up."
"Quickly."
"If you don't hurry, the teacher is going to leave!"
"Okay, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

If you are raising children, these might be words you have said at least once.

Whether at preschool or at home, there are many situations where you have to get children moving because of the flow of activities and time constraints.

Morning preparations, changing clothes, cleaning up, moving from place to place.
Because adults understand the schedule ahead, words that rush children inevitably fly around.

And in reality, I think these kinds of prompts are somewhat effective in terms of "encouraging action."
It is certainly true that children start moving when a sense of urgency is created.
In a life where time is limited, there will be times when it is necessary.

That is why I do not intend to completely deny these kinds of prompts themselves.

However, when I heard the same words during a developmental support activity, I felt a very strong sense of unease.

Why was that?

I stopped and thought about it for a moment.

What, in the first place, is developmental support?
I believe one of the major goals of developmental support is:
"to enable the child to participate in society while remaining true to themselves."
Furthermore, it is also a place to gradually cultivate such strengths as:

・Knowing one's own feelings
・Developing the ability to regulate one's feelings
・Being able to act with peace of mind in relationships with others
Thinking about it this way,
"Just making them participate in the activity"

"Making them able to move according to the flow"
cannot be the only goal.
Of course, the experience of participating in activities is important.
The experience of going along with the flow of a group is also likely important for developing social skills.

However, that does not mean it is fine to force them to participate.

The child being able to act while regulating their own feelings, thinking,
"Maybe I'll try it"
"Maybe I'll try participating a little"
Isn't there meaning in that?
In developmental support settings, it is common for children not to participate in activities right away.

・It is difficult to switch feelings
・They are anxious about a new environment
・There are things they are sensorily uncomfortable with
・They simply don't want to do it right now
The reasons are various.
At such times, for an adult to make them act by rushing them with,

"Hurry up"
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
might look smooth at first glance.
But that is not the child choosing to act on their own.

They may have just moved because they were pushed by anxiety or pressure.
Can that really be called developmental support?
I feel a bit of doubt about that.

Of course, there are many difficult things in support settings.
There are time constraints.

There are other children present.
There are times when activities must proceed.
That is precisely why skills are required of support staff.

For example,

・What is the reason they cannot participate right now?

・Will their feelings settle if I wait a little?
・Will it be easier for them to join if I change the environment?
・Can they participate if I give them a role?
In this way, they adjust how they interact while observing the child's state.
Sometimes, it is necessary to convey,
"It's okay to just watch."

Then, after a while, the child may approach on their own.
I believe that moment is an action born from the child's own


**"I want to try" feeling.**


And that experience leads to a sense of success, such as,
"I did it""I was able to participate"
"That was fun"
I want adults in developmental support settings to value the skill of understanding the child, not the skill of making the child move.
Making someone act by using their feelings of anxiety is actually very easy.
But,
Reading the child's feelings,
Adjusting the environment,

Building a relationship where they feel safe,
Creating a situation where they want to move on their own,

This is not easy.

That is precisely why professional support expertise is necessary.

Developmental support is not a place to "mold children into a shape."
It is a place to cultivate the strength to live safely in society while the child remains true to themselves.
That is why I want people to value the power of waiting, rather than words that rush, precisely within developmental support.
Just by an adult waiting a little, a child may start moving at their own timing.
That small step has much greater meaning than a step taken because someone rushed them.

I really want those involved in developmental support to keep this perspective in mind.

I feel that the small sense of unease I felt that day reminded me once again of an important perspective in developmental support.