[Essay] When did my desire to 'write' begin...
In high school, I bought a word processor with money I saved from my part-time job—was it a Shoin, I wonder? I don't remember the exact name anymore. But I still remember the feeling of typing carefully on that word processor, which cost me over 100,000 yen. I had no plan—only the desire to 'write' was there.
Throughout junior high and high school, I was always a 'grandmother's girl.' It was her influence that naturally drew me to books. When I was struggling with relationships, my grandmother handed me 'Ryoma ga Yuku' and told me, 'Be a kind person,' which sparked my deep dive into history. I became obsessed with reading long novels like 'Romance of the Three Kingdoms,' and eventually chose to study history in university.
But with that word processor, I would write a line, delete it, write another, and delete it again. I certainly had the desire to write something, but I didn't know how to give it shape. However—there is no doubt that this was the beginning of my desire to 'write'.
Time passed, and after turning 30, I met many people, said goodbyes, felt moved, fell into slumps, was surprised, and sometimes stood still... In the midst of such a life, the desire to 'write' grew strong again. But back then, I lacked writing skills and the ability to structure my thoughts. Above all, I didn't yet know the words to convey my own emotions.
So, I decided to read more books.
Though my reading was biased, I read with abandon. I think I read almost all of Kiyoshi Shigematsu's and Hiroyuki Itsuki's works. I was saved many times by their power to depict emotions through words.
And now, having passed fifty, I think about this.
The trajectory of the life I have lived. The connections I have made with the people I have met. I have come to strongly desire to leave these things behind in words and writing.
That was the catalyst for the birth of my novel 'Kokoro Hashiru' (Heart Running), and it is the root of my desire to 'write'.
And now, I have become able to write essays honestly, and I find it incredibly enjoyable. Whether it's novels or essays, my desire to write knows no bounds.
#HappyWritingMarathon
#KenHonda