My "Complicated Medication Withdrawal White Paper"

💊 How long did it take to withdraw from antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication?

In my case, it took "1 year and 2 months".
.｡oO ( ‥ It was truly long 😅💧 )

I had been taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for about "18 years" since I was 24.

Because I had been taking them for such a long time, my mind and body had become dependent on the medication.
.｡oO ( ‥If I didn't take the medication for even half a day, I would be struck by an unbearably unpleasant sensation, as if lead had been poured into my head, along with fear and anxiety 😭💧

Therefore, I was forced to withdraw from the medication in small amounts over a long period of time.
.｡oO ( ‥ I completely complicated things 💦 )

🤔 Why did you keep taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication for 18 years?

1️⃣ I wasn't communicating with my doctor

When I was 24 and first developed the illness, I was actively communicating with my doctor.

When I first developed the illness, I hated taking "medicine" more than anything.
.｡oO ( ‥ But the reality was that I couldn't do anything without taking "medicine"... it's painful, isn't it 😭💦 )

As the years went by, my symptoms gradually settled down, and I was able to live my life as long as I took the "medicine".

As 5 years... 10 years passed, taking "medicine" became a matter of course.

And I became anxious and unable to function without taking the "medicine".

It became as essential as air or water, to the point where I couldn't tell for myself whether it was working or not.
.｡oO ( ‥ What was my "sober" state like again? 💬💦 )

Even so, it was much better than when I first developed the illness, and I was able to live my life.

I stopped seeking any further improvement in my symptoms.

From this time on, communication with my doctor became sparse.

I was convinced that even if I talked to my doctor, I couldn't live without taking the "medicine," and that nothing would improve even if I did talk.

So, the only words I exchanged with my doctor during my monthly check-ups were "No changes".

Because I had that attitude, I think my doctor had no choice but to prescribe the current medication.

It might be a harsh way to put it, but you cannot save someone who doesn't want to cure their own illness.

☝️ Communication with your doctor is truly important

I think you should honestly tell your doctor what you are thinking and feeling.

You are even careful around your doctor and don't (can't) speak your true feelings.

I understand that well.
Because you have been suppressing your own feelings and being careful around others for so long.
.｡oO ( ‥ It takes a lot of courage to express your true feelings as they are, doesn't it 🥺 )

"I feel like the medicine isn't right for me... I don't want to take it in the first place..."

"Actually, I'm not feeling well and I can't sleep..."

"I get nervous in front of my doctor and can't speak well..."

You should tell them exactly how you feel.
.｡oO ( ...Let's practice gathering the courage to say exactly what you really think and feel.😌 )

It's okay to take it one step at a time.

If you don't speak up, nothing will be conveyed.

Even if you don't get the answer you were hoping for, I believe there is significance in the act of "conveying your true feelings to the other person in words" itself. I think.

I believe that is the number one shortcut to preventing your condition from becoming complicated, and also to improving it.

If you were able to convey even one thing about your true feelings, I think that is already a big step forward.

This is because that process involves introspecting to ask yourself, "What are my true feelings?" and then putting them into words to convey them, which means you are carrying out a very important action for improving mental illness.

Next time, I will continue from here and talk about the following ⬇️

2️⃣ I didn't want to improve my lifestyle habits

3️⃣ I had absolutely no concept of cognitive behavioral therapy in terms of self-insight