The end of my road, where 'for others' was my catchphrase... A story of losing myself

Hello. I am Shoko Shirato.

This NOTE is a record of the events and lessons I have encountered in my life so far.

Both the happy times and the painful times,
looking back, have all made me who I am today.

I hope the words I write here
will serve as a hint for someone who is struggling or feeling lost in the same way.

With that wish in mind, I will continue to share my thoughts every day.

I would be happy if the experiences I have learned from, thought about, and overcome for my own sake could lighten someone else's heart or become a catalyst for them to take a step forward.

Do things for the sake of others.

I have lived my life believing in those words.

As a mother.

As a wife.

And at work as well.

I always prioritized someone else,

I'll worry about myself later.

That way of living was natural to me.

My family's feelings over my own feelings.

The other person's wishes over my own wishes.

If I just endure it, everything will work out.

That is what I thought.

But that accumulation of things gradually wore down my heart.

Before I knew it, every day was painful,

clinching my teeth until they were worn down...

That was the state I was in.

Come to think of it, thanks to the
wrong assumptions I've held since I was a student? Or maybe since I was old enough to know better? (lol),
I was able to learn a lot.

For example, divorce... (￣ー￣)

Looking back now,

the me back then seemed to be cherishing someone else,

but I was leaving behind the most important person: myself.

Of course, I think acting for the sake of others is a wonderful thing.

However,

continuing to give even at the expense of yourself is not true kindness.

Because,

a smartphone with a dead battery cannot connect with anyone,

and it's the same as a car without gas not being able to take people to their destination.

Our work is the same.

There are so many truly kind female entrepreneurs.

That's why,

they increase their services.

they extend their hours.

they offer discounts.

I would give my all even just for a consultation.

But I was exhausted.

I have seen many people like that.

And I was one of them myself.

Actually,

if you keep only giving, you tend to attract people who take it for granted that you will provide for them.

Do more for me.

Can you do just a little more?

Do this for free, too.

They are the kind of people who take advantage of your kindness in that way.

Of course, not everyone is like that.

But when you put yourself last,

you can unconsciously create a relationship where you are seen as someone who will give endlessly.

That is why I now believe,

that the most important thing is to love yourself first (self-love).

Value yourself.

Rest when you are tired.

When you deliver value, accept what you are owed properly.

Say 'NO' to things you don't want to do.

This is not being selfish.

This is the foundation necessary to continue being useful to others for a long time.

It is precisely because you are fulfilled that

you can provide peace of mind to your customers as well.

It is precisely because you believe in yourself that

you can confidently convey the value of your services.

First, fulfill yourself.

Then, give to others.

I want you not to get that order wrong.

Today, please ask yourself just one question.

Did I value my own feelings today?

If the answer is 'no,' there is no need to blame yourself.

Start by simply noticing your own feelings.

When you become able to value yourself, surprisingly, your relationships with people and
your relationships with customers will begin to change.

Loving yourself is not the same as being selfish.

It is the first step toward continuing to cherish the people who are important to you.