Approaching 50, I remembered my father's death anniversary. I will live properly.

With me turning 50 soon,
I was only thinking about my own birthday.

What kind of paid content should I release?
How can I get chosen?
How can I climb my way up?

Before I knew it,
I had forgotten that my father's death anniversary was approaching.

February 26th.

It has already been 8 years.

Back then, I was in Tokyo.
Working at the Sumitomo Mitsui headquarters.
In a hell of debt, with no promotion.
I was doing everything I could just to get by.

I didn't know
about my father's terminal diagnosis.

I returned to Osaka one week before he passed away,
and we ate yellowtail shabu-shabu together.

Seeing my father eat it with such enjoyment,
I thought, 'He's still going to be okay.'

My father was worried about me.

I said,

'I'm fine. I'm working hard, so please don't worry.'

It was just vanity.

One week later,
I received word that my father had passed away.

I couldn't believe it.

The me from back then
was going through the hardest time of my life.

Honestly,
I didn't even have the emotional capacity to properly grieve for my father.

I wish I had been a better son.

That regret alone
has remained with me ever since.

Today, while remembering him,
I cried my heart out alone.

I was only thinking about my birthday, and
I felt pathetic for
forgetting the anniversary of my father's death.

But I realized I shouldn't run away.

The vanity, the regrets, and the weaknesses.

Including all of that, this is who I am now.

I will climb back up once more.

This time,
it's not to show anyone else.

It's to become someone I can be proud of in front of my father.

Tomorrow, I will go to visit his grave with my mother and brother.

Eight years ago,
the words I left behind while putting on a brave face,

I will go and say them with honesty this time.

"I will live properly."

I must not run away here.

For every tear I've shed,
I can look forward again.

Before I turn 50,
I will rebuild myself once more.

This time,
without any deception.