Solving Life and Fashion Woes!? Before and After the Self-Questioning Fashion Class

On March 18, 2023, I attended the Self-Questioning Fashion Class.

…Wait, when was that!? A year and a half has already passed?

For those wondering what the Self-Questioning Fashion Class is, please check out Asami Akiya's note via the link below. The lottery application for the 2024 class is scheduled for October 1st (Tue) from 10:00 PM to 11:00 PM. It's coming up soon! If I miss this, who knows when the next one will be…! I'm so glad I was able to participate 😭💓

I was so eager to write a class report, but when I started, I realized it was just a summary of materials and deleted it. It reminded me of when I was an elementary school student who filled 90% of a book report with the plot summary...
I'll leave the detailed class report to others, but in this note, I want to talk about how I participated in the Self-Questioning Fashion Class and, in a year and a half, resolved my worries and am now one step away from a life where I've escaped the suffering of choosing clothes and live with a 1-year, 3-set wardrobe! (I'll be talking about myself for a while, so if you came here for a pure report, please hit the back button!)

Worries before participating in the class

Class participants answer and submit a pre-class questionnaire about what triggered their confusion regarding clothes and what kind of mood they want to spend their time in after creating a uniform wardrobe. (I recommend answering the questionnaire as soon as your participation is confirmed! Because the self-questioning process starts moving rapidly while you're answering it...!) Here is my answer content from that time ↓.

“I thought it was embarrassing to dress up for work”
I still can't believe this now, but I seriously thought it. If I happened to pass by someone wearing a flashy skirt, I wouldn't say it out loud, but my inner 'office queen bee' mode would go into full swing! I would be sarcastically poisoning my own mind.

“I wore clothes that matched the office ladies at my company”
In other words, I was wearing clothes that only satisfied the third level of the five levels of fashion needs: social needs. Order is important, not standing out is important. Even though I wrote that I wore things 'randomly,' I was still buying more clothes than I do now, trying this and that to look like a decent office worker. Ah, how futile.

“During the COVID-19 pandemic, I only had to go to the office once a week, and I started wanting to cherish the opportunity to wear clothes and go out”
My awareness of clothes changed during the pandemic. What would happen if this life of only going out once a week continued...? 'Wearing clothes and going out,' which was something I had to do if I wanted to be part of society even though it was a hassle, suddenly felt precious when it was only once a week. Am I okay like this...?

“Since I'm lucky enough to have a job that leans toward creative work, I wanted to be seen as appropriate for that at the company”
It seems I wanted to satisfy the fourth level of the five levels of fashion needs: the need for esteem. When I joined the company, my work was more administrative, but a few years ago, I started doing work that leans toward creative tasks. At least in appearance! I want to bluff my way through it!!

“I want to wear clothes with confidence”
I had absolutely no confidence in choosing clothes. I had decided that I was a tacky person with no sense. Even though I had plenty of clothes, I would feel sad every morning thinking, 'I have nothing to wear!'

“I want to live simply”
My head is always a mess. My room is cluttered. I have too many clothes and things, and I make a mess quickly. I'm positive enough to think it's a good experience even if I'm scolded or make a mistake in front of a crowd, but only when I'm looking for something and the time to leave has already passed do I want to give up on life.I want to realize a uniform wardrobe and somehow improve my life! This is also a rather desperate worry.

And then, participating in the class!

The creation of a concept, which is the key to the class.
When asked, 'If you didn't have to worry about money, what would you want to do?', the life I envision is...

❝I would live in a certain area of Niigata Prefecture where my mother's family home is, in the mountains, and spend my days taking photos, developing them, and immersing myself in printing work.❞

I haven't been able to do it much in recent years, but I used to go to a photography class and live a full photography life. Among them, the subjects that attract me are things that have aged over time or things where you can slightly feel the lives of people.
If I didn't have to worry about money, I would want to live in the mountains.

When I was attending the class, my life consisted of going out to take photos on weekends, developing them in the bathroom at night, and immersing myself in printing work until near dawn after coming home on weekdays. However, due to a reassignment at work, my mental resources were temporarily exhausted, and I quit the class at that point.

This reassignment at work was the change from an administrative role to a creative role I mentioned earlier. As part of my job, I take photos and videos, write articles, and even do banner design as an amateur. You could say it is a wonderful result of my previous proactive enthusiasm for photography and cameras, which I continued as a hobby, being recognized by my current boss.

But I always spent my time feeling uneasy. Is it okay for someone like me to be doing this kind of work? I have absolutely no sense of style. I might go back to administrative work someday; I'm very good at Excel, after all.

Yes, actually, when I first encountered self-questioning fashion, I wasn't aware of it, but I was struggling not just with clothes but also with work. It felt like my work worries were stuck firmly to the back of my fashion worries.

Akiya-san: "Say-san, let's go with 'photographer'!"
Me: "Oh, okay."

Whether she knew about the swirling thoughts in my brain or not, Akiya-san said that in such a cool, calm voice. Then, the swirling in my brain settled into my heart, and I felt resigned, or perhaps like I had no choice, and I wrote the concept on the print in my hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world, thinking, 'Oh, yes, that's it.'

Sense—it's something I think I don't have, something I want so badly I could die for it. I want a sense for choosing clothes and a sense for my work! When I wrote this concept, although I felt it was incredibly far from where I was, I also felt that the path to it was connected.

So, what happened after participating in the class?

Once the concept was decided, no one could stop me anymore...!
The to-do list I decided on in class: ↓
1. Challenge myself to create a uniform with clothes I already own
2. Find my self-evaluation shoes
I started running to execute these! It felt like my gears shifted up by three levels...! From here on, I will report with a strong sense of speed.

• May 2023: Let go of so many clothes that I emptied two storage bins

• September 2023: Purchased shoes

• Spent the three seasons of summer, autumn, and winter of 2023 with 6 outfits (using only the clothes I kept)

And the self-questioning doesn't stop in 2024...!

• February 2024: First clothing purchase after the class, spent spring with almost 1 outfit

• March 2024: First purchase of an UN3D. top, spent summer with almost 1 outfit

• May 2024: Cut off my retreat

I have a solid concept in my heart, and I wear and wash the clothes I chose while holding onto that concept every single day. (Doing laundry every night, I'm so glad I practiced that...!) Since I don't struggle with clothes in the morning, my mind is clear. I can spend that extra time on my makeup and hair, which makes me feel excited💓 I felt with my body and mind that my feelings, or rather, myself, were changing more and more. I mean, if you live like this, it would be strange if you didn't change...!
Before I knew it, the feeling of sulking, thinking "What's the point of someone like me doing creative work..." had vanished as if it were a lie. I guess I gained confidence, or maybe I just became more resolute. My abilities haven't changed, you know? But after all, my fashion concept is "Photographer," so yeah✌️
Oh man, even so,
the power of clothes is amazing!To think that I used to be embarrassed to dress up for work... The me from back then!! Wake up!

And from here on out

By realizing the standardization of my personal clothes in line with my concept, I have become able to wear clothes with confidence and live simply, just as I wished. Recently, inspired by that concept, various things I want to do have been popping up in my head. If I were to bundle them all together, it would look something like this...?

"Increase, help, and entertain people who take photos"

So, whether it's for work or my private life, I'm going to take action to be an ally to people who want to take photos✌️