From someone who couldn't say 'help me' to starting a job supporting others

Currently, as a web writer,
while working on writing,

as a coach,
I am also facing people's worries and hearts.

"Aren't web writing and coaching completely different jobs?"

You might think so.

I myself,
did not intend to do these two jobs
from the beginning.

However,
when I look back on my life so far,
there were many things
that led to my current way of working.

Not being able to fit in well with others. Prioritizing those around me over my own feelings. Not being able to say "help me" to anyone and carrying it alone. Becoming a mother and wanting to protect my son.

And, the experience of my own
heart breaking at work and at home.

Although they all looked like separate events,
now they are connected in a single line.

This time,
why I became a web writer,
and furthermore, why I thought about starting
a job as a coach.

It will be a little long, but
I would like to write
about my past.

My childhood when I thought 'I have to be proper'

When I was a child,
I was always trying to be
a 'good big sister'.

There is a scene I still remember.

When I got off the kindergarten bus,
my father, who was usually not there, had come to pick me up.

My younger brother had just been born,
and my mother was busy taking care of the baby.

As a child, I didn't understand the circumstances.

However,

"Mom isn't here"

Only that loneliness remained.

In truth, I wanted to be spoiled more. I wanted her to look at me more too.

But because I was the older sister, I had to behave properly.
If I didn't behave properly, I would be scolded.

Before I knew it, I

'I have to be strong'

had started to think.

Even after I started elementary school,
that didn't change.

Even when I transferred schools and couldn't fit in,
I kept going without complaining.

Then, in the upper grades,
a friend I was close with
suddenly started ignoring me,
and the bullying began.

My shoes were shredded,
and I was given letters with terrible things written in them.

For me,
school became a
hellish place.

Even so, to my parents,

'Help me'

I couldn't say it.

Because my mother had always

'You need to be stronger'

been telling me that.

I don't want to go to school.
I'm scared.
It's painful.
I want someone to help me.

I felt that even saying those words
was something I shouldn't do.

Thinking back now, ever since that time,

'Even if it's painful, I have to handle it myself'

I think that was the way I was
living my life.

I left my hometown thinking, 'I want to be free.'

I struggled with relationships in junior high and high school, too.

I couldn't find joy in going to school,
and I couldn't find anything I wanted to do in the future.

I didn't even want to go to college.

However,
there was one thing I felt strongly about.

'I want to be free.'

'Someday, I want to live on my own.'

That was it.

But I was still a teenager.

My parents wouldn't let me
leave home completely,


but I wanted to leave my hometown,
so I went to a vocational school for fashion
in the prefecture where my grandparents lived.

Making clothes itself
was interesting.

But even there, I couldn't
fit in with the people.

In the end, I dropped out of vocational school.

'I couldn't keep it up again.'
'I'm half-hearted at everything I do.'

Carrying those feelings,
I returned to my parents' home.

After that,
I joined an apparel company as a part-time worker.

Actually, from this time on,
I was interested in working as a freelancer.

Not belonging to a company,
working for myself.

Knowing that such a way of working existed,

I thought, "That sounds nice."

But at the time, I didn't think I could do it myself.

I had no qualifications.
I had no special skills.
I had no confidence.

I had no qualifications.
I had no special skills.
I had no confidence.

So,
even though I was interested, I gave up on it.

Realizing I liked listening to people while working in apparel

Since I had always liked clothes,
I enjoyed working in apparel,
and I worked for a total of about eight years at two stores in Iwate and Aomori.

What I especially liked
was creating the sales floor.

When new products arrived,

where to put what.

How to arrange them so people would pick them up.

What kind of display to make.

While consulting with the store manager,
I loved the time spent creating a beautiful sales floor.

On the other hand,
I didn't really like
customer service itself.

Receiving unreasonable complaints,
or getting caught up in squabbles between staff members.

I was often exhausted
by constantly interacting with people.

However,
there was one thing I liked even in those situations.

It was being consulted by my juniors.

"My customer service isn't going well."

"If a customer asks me this, how should I answer?"

“Lately, work has been tough.”

I would sometimes hear things like that during breaks, and I would
listen to what they had to say
as much as time allowed.

I didn't mind
the time spent thinking together or
listening to their stories.

In fact,

“I hope this makes them feel even a little bit better,”

was what I thought.

But my manager at the time would say,

“You shouldn't listen to staff complaining.”

“You don't need to listen to their gripes.”

“Just leave them alone.”

I would even get scolded
for offering advice.

I just couldn't accept that. There was someone right in front of me who was struggling.

They were in pain.

And yet,

“Why shouldn't I listen to them?”

I wondered.

Of course,
now I understand that companies and those in management positions
have various circumstances.

Even so,

I felt uncomfortable leaving people who were suffering alone.

Perhaps,
even from back then,

“I want to listen to people and help them move forward.”

Perhaps that feeling
was there.

And so, upon getting married,
I resigned from the apparel company where I had worked for eight years.

The birth of my son became the turning point in my life

After marriage,
I worked part-time at a 100-yen shop, stocking shelves and working the register.

Then, I became pregnant with the son I had longed for.

My morning sickness was severe,
and I lost about 6 kilograms before giving birth.

It was a difficult pregnancy, but
I still cannot forget the moment my son was born.

His tiny hands.
The way he cried with all his might.

Everything about him was precious.

In my heart, I

“No matter what happens, I will absolutely protect this child.”

made that resolution.

I had long had
many opportunities to take care of small children.

My younger brother, his friends, and the children in the neighborhood.

I spent my childhood trying hard to be a “good big sister,” but
I actually enjoyed taking care of children.

That is why
I was truly happy to have a child of my own.

However,
the reality of parenting was different from what I had imagined.

My husband was barely involved in childcare; he would call our son “noisy” when he cried at night, and we slept in separate rooms.

I was doing almost all the parenting alone. No matter how many times we talked about it, the situation did not change.

Then, when my son was about 6 months old.

"Don't stay at home, go out and work."

I was told.

I couldn't sleep because of his night crying. My health was poor. There was no one to take over childcare for me.
I was in poor health.
There was no one to help with childcare.

When I was told to work despite that,
something inside me just snapped.

That was when I remembered
an option I had been interested in for a long time:
"working from home."

I started as a web writer right next to my 6-month-old son.

It's difficult to go out to work.
If that's the case, I'll look for a job I can do at home.

Thinking that,
I bought a computer with my meager savings.

And what I started was
web writing.

・Single-parenting
・Lack of sleep
・Poor health

It was by no means
an easy start.

Even so,
writing work was
truly enjoyable.

Researching, thinking, and putting things into words on my own.

Basically,
I could work silently on my own.

It suited me,
as I easily get tired of interpersonal relationships.

"There was work I could do too,"

the realization that
was huge for me.

What I had longed for all that time,

"working on my own strength without relying only on a company,"

That way of living
gradually became a reality.

I also started posting on social media.

Then,

“It’s amazing that you continue to work as a writer while raising children,”
“How do you get your work?”
“I also want to work from home.”

People started reaching out to me with these comments.

From there,
I also started working as an instructor
teaching others about being a web writer.

What I realized through teaching is that skills alone aren't enough to keep going.

As I began interacting with various people
as an instructor,
I noticed one thing.

They weren't just struggling
with their writing skills.

There were many such consultations.

All of them
were struggles I understood well from my past.

Actually, I myself
once failed as a web writer.

The interactions with the client
I was involved with at the time were painful,

and I even became afraid
of receiving revision requests.

“It’s painful just to look at the screen.”
“I’m scared of the work itself.”

But I couldn't talk to anyone about it.

Even when I gathered the courage
to talk to a senior instructor,

“We aren't friends, so I can't listen to that kind of talk,”

they said,
and I have the experience of them cutting the Zoom call.

What I wanted
was not the correct answer.

I just...

'That must have been hard.'
'Let's think together about how to make things a little easier.'

I think I just wanted someone
to say those things to me.

Unable to talk to anyone,
my heart grew more and more exhausted,
and it took over a year to recover.

Even so,
I couldn't bring myself to
hate writing.

So,
I started working as a web writer again.

Now, I am blessed with
reliable clients,
and I continue to enjoy my work writing.

From this experience, I feel strongly.

What my son taught me: 'It's okay not to push yourself'

My son is currently
tending toward school refusal.

He couldn't quite fit in at school,
and he was struggling in his own way.

As the days he couldn't go to school continued,
I remembered my own childhood
over and over again.

Even though school was painful for me,

'I don't want to go'

was something I couldn't say.

To anyone,

'Help me'

was something I couldn't say.

That is precisely why
I did not want my son
to go through the same thing.

Of course,

I sometimes think,"I want him to go to school."

I also feel worried sometimes.

I have felt anxious comparing him to other children.
There were times I felt uneasy.

Even so,

"It's okay to say you're struggling if you are."
"It's okay to ask for help."

I want to convey that
to my son.

While trying to protect my son,
I have gradually
become able to say
the same words to my own heart.

It's okay for me to say I'm struggling, too.
It's okay for me to rely on someone, too.
I don't have to carry everything on my own.

It feels like I am practicing
what I couldn't do since I was a child,
little by little, now that I am an adult.

The person who told me, "It's okay to take it easier"

Difficulties piled up at home as well,
and after I separated from my husband,
there was a truly painful period.

"I don't want to live anymore."
I thought that, too.

At that time,
by chance, I met my current mentor.

No matter how much I complained or expressed weakness,
they didn't deny me and listened while nodding.

And then one day,

"It's okay to take it easier."

That is what they said to me.

Those words
were a huge shock to me.

For so long, I had been thinking,

I have to do things right.
I have to work hard.
I must not be a burden.
I have to manage on my own.

That is how I had lived my life.

And so,

the very idea of 'it's okay to take it easy'

did not exist
within me at all.

Relying on someone.
Voicing my weaknesses.
Taking a break.
Admitting I cannot do something.

Perhaps these are not signs of weakness,
but things necessary
to cherish oneself.

Little by little,
I have come to think that way.

And at the same time,

I thought, 'I want to be someone who can save someone's heart like this, too.'

That is what I felt.

That is why I work as both a web writer and a coach.

I love writing.

Thinking alone,
weaving words,
and delivering them to someone—
I love the job of a web writer.

So,
I want to continue
being a writer.

But it is no longer just that.

No matter how much I learn about work skills,

I can't do it.
What if I fail?
I don't want people to dislike me.
I have to try harder.

When your heart is filled
with feelings like that,
you become unable to move, don't you?

That is because I was that way myself.

So now, I want to
not just focus on how to do the work, but also support the person's heart.

Instead of forcing answers on someone,

'What do you want to do?'

I want to be someone who can think about that together with them.

Everything is connected to where I am now.

That is why I decided to

work as both a web writer and a coach,

two jobs that might seem
unusual at first glance.

To those who think, 'I have no choice but to do my best alone'

Ever since I was a child,

'Even if it's painful, I have to handle it myself'

is how I thought and lived.

Even though I was sensitive and easily hurt,
I was used to acting strong
to hide it.

But now,

I don't believe that becoming strong
is the only right answer.

When you are struggling,

'I'm struggling'

being able to say that.

When you find it difficult to do it alone,

'Help me'

being able to say that.

Thinking about what you truly want to do,
by pausing for a moment.

That, too,
is a necessary strength for living your own life.

The reason I have continued to be drawn to
the freelance way of working

is surely'because I wanted to choose my own life for myself'
I think.

Instead of continuing to conform to someone else's values
in a place decided by someone else,

I want to work in a way that suits me,
while cherishing the people I want to cherish.

I want to be the kind of person who can be by my son's side
when he is going through a hard time.

And I myself,
instead of working while wearing down my heart,
want to continue working while cherishing myself.

I want to continue creating
that kind of way of working.

I am not
a strong person
who has overcome everything.

Even now, I get down,
I feel anxious,
and there are times when I try too hard.

That is precisely why,
I believe I can be
by the side of those who are struggling in the same way.

Through writing,
delivering the words that person needs.

Through dialogue,
helping that person
realize their own feelings.

Even if the methods are different,
what I want to do is the same.

To tell people that
they don't have to carry it all alone.

And,

To help more people choose their own lives
without leaving their true feelings behind.

I have taken many detours,
and I have experienced many setbacks.

But now,
I believe that because I went through all of that,
there is work that only I can do.

This is
the reason why I work as both a web writer and a coach.

To you, who are reading this note right now,

there is something
I want to tell you.

You are allowed to live without leaving your feelings behind.

The more you have been working hard all this time,

'I'll just put up with it'
'It can't be helped right now'

you tend to put yourself last.

I was the same way for a long time.

But you are allowed to choose for yourself
how you want to work, how you want to live,
and what you want to do from here on out.

If right now,

'I actually want to change'
'But I don't know what to do'

if you are thinking that,
it is okay not to come up with the answer alone.

I will think with you
about what you truly want to do.

When you are lost or feeling anxious,
I want to support you so that you can move forward
without leaving your heart behind.

You don't have to
try your best at everything all by yourself.

So that you,

can choose a path where you think,

'This is the life I want to live.'

I would be happy if this note
could be that first step.

I listen to the concerns of those who are struggling to balance work with raising children, or who want to work from home but feel anxious. When things are tough, don't carry it alone; let's sort through your worries together!
Free consultation is available from below ⬇️

If you'd like to get a sense of my personality, click here ✨