335. [Gratitude] Miyamoto Note Dojo, 2 months since the start. Before I knew it, I had 3,000 followers.

A story about how I hesitated for a moment when I was about to write '3,000 followers'.

'I've reached 3,000 followers!'

At first,
I was going to write a title like that.

But,
the moment I tried to write it,
my words stopped for a little bit.

Of course, I'm happy.

I'm truly grateful.

But,
when I looked back on these past two months,
what remained most strongly
was not a 'sense of achievement'.

It was the warmth of the interactions I had with all of you.

'Wait... already two months?'

My current feeling
is probably close to that.

It was fun,
I was absorbed in it,
and as I spent time with you all on Note,

before I knew it, the scenery had changed.

That's what these two months were like.



Two months ago, when I joined the Miyamoto Dojo, I,
honestly,
'I'm going to do my best to post'
wasn't really the feeling I had.

I just,

'I want to treat each person with care'

I only had that feeling.


For a long time, I have

seen the moment when the experience of

'being properly listened to'
changes a person.


30 years as a childcare worker.

And now,
while learning about child advocacy,

'Listening closely to unspoken thoughts'

is something I am
re-examining.


Maybe that's why.

Even on Note, for me,
'I want to post well' was less important than

'I want to properly receive your thoughts'

which was stronger.

By visiting your articles and
participating in various projects,
I was happy that my world expanded.


And,
in the articles of mine that received reactions,

rather than things that were neatly polished,

stories of messing up,
stories of feeling conflicted,
stories of feeling pathetic were more common.

The story about hating doing the dishes.

The misunderstanding with my husband.

The day I stopped because I didn't know
what it meant to be '100% on someone's side'.

To such articles,

I received words like
'I understand'
'That touched my heart'

'I wasn't the only one'.

Every time that happened, I felt that

people might be moved
when they touch 'the emotions that were there'

rather than 'correct words'.
In these two months,



the biggest thing
was the comment section.I think,

rather than writing articles,
I was having conversations with you all in the comments.

I read the words I received,

imagined the person's background, and replied.
Then words would come back again.

In that repetition,

a place where we could talk with peace of mind
gradually grew.

That,
in what I am learning in child advocacy,

overlapped with 'first, create a safe and secure relationship'.

And,



as an extension of that,
there were things that had been quietly accumulating.
For the first time,

being able to have time to face a friend with selective mutism
in the form of active listening.
And,

during that time of active listening,
receiving a tip for the first time.
Both of these,

rather than some special 'achievement',
were things that happened

while I was just simply stacking up these two months,

like a dream.

But of course,
it wasn't all beautiful things.

I want to cherish the comments.

I want to reply properly.

The more I thought that,
the more there were times I couldn't move.

When I was exhausted,
with my smartphone open,
my hands would stop.

I want to reply.

But if I replied now,
I felt like my fatigue would be conveyed in my words.

I think,
not just the words,

but the atmosphere at that time
is also delivered together.

Therefore,
rather than forcing a reply,

I wanted to rest properly and

reply when I could convey
warm feelings.

There were days when my heart swayed with the numbers.

I'm happy when they grow.

When they don't,
I think, 'Huh?'

I don't want to chase numbers.

Even so,
I was still happy to get reactions.

Every time that happened,

"What am I writing for?"

I asked myself that question again.



In the midst of that,
things started to become clear little by little.

Perhaps I was trying too hard
to be a "giver."
I wanted to be useful.

I wanted to encourage.

I wanted to deliver energy.

But,

the more I tried to fix others,
the less I may have been
fully believing in the power within them.
When I realized that,

I quietly held a self-reflection session by myself, over and over.
In child advocacy, we learn

"not to decide on their behalf"
"not to do things for them without asking, thinking it's for their own good"

That is something

that has been on my mind a lot lately.
Before I knew it,



3,000 followers.
But it wasn't just the numbers that increased.



People I can talk to about my uncertainties.

A place where I don't have to hide my weaknesses.

A relationship where we can say "I understand."Things like that were increasing little by little.

And now,

through "writing,"

I am reconnecting with people.
That is what it feels like.

The view of 3,000 people



is something I could never have seen on my own.


To those who read my work.To those who leave comments.



To those who quietly watch over me.Thank you so much.

And I will continue to

move forward, surely while still feeling uncertain.
Perhaps the more I tell myself that feeling uncertain is bad,



the stronger the pain becomes.
Being able to feel uncertain

might just mean that

I am still living,
carefully savoring this very moment.

2026/3/23
A new challenge has started from here.

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