330. Four major blunders of mine, despite being told I 'seem like I have it all together.'

"Kazuko-san, you seem so calm and collected."
"You seem like you live such a refined life."

People sometimes say things like that to me.


But in reality,

there's a pretty high chance
that I've got things backwards.

First, my clothes.
Front to back, inside out.

I get them wrong quite often.

Just the other day,


"Why does my neck feel so tight today..."
I thought, and after spending half the day like that,
I checked the tag and realized it was on backwards.
What's more,


I act so confident about it
that I don't even notice until someone points it out.
When it's inside out, my husband usually

"Your tag is showing, dear ☺️"
gently points it out for me.
Furthermore,


when I eat, there's a high probability
that I'll have something on my face.
Bread.

Seaweed.
Kinako powder.
Chocolate.
If anything,

I leave evidence that I've "eaten"
on my face,
going about my day while announcing

what I had on the menu.
Until my husband says,

"Kazuko-san... you've got something there ☺️"

I usually don't notice.

And my blunders
also happen at the salon.


Before welcoming a client,
the bed cover that I thought I had carefully arranged.

"Alright, perfect ✨"

I think, only to realize

it's inside out.

And since I only notice
after I've finished setting everything up,
I fall into a quiet despair.

"Why am I
so loved by the 'backwards' way of life?"

I think to myself
as I lay the cover out all over again.


The ultimate example is
my 'reward meals'.

"I worked hard today, so ✨"
"I'm tired, so ✨"
"I endured so much, so ✨"

And, as if savoring the happiness of my remarriage,
I ate, and ate, and kept on eating
delicious food... and gained 10 kilograms.
And now,

"I'm working hard on my diet, so ✨"

"It's fine once in a while, isn't it? ✨"

I get invited by my husband again
for a reward time 🤣

...Maybe this is how people
grow up so well.


But lately,
I've come to like
this side of myself, too.

Because I'm not perfect,
people can laugh with me.

Because I'm not all together,
people feel at ease around me.


In the past,
I wanted to hide this side of myself,

but now, I can actually say,
"This is who I am ☺️"
Even if you aren't perfect,


you are still loved.
In fact, because things are backwards,

I enjoy the view I get to see.
...Though my tag is showing sometimes 🤭

In life,


even if things are inside out,
it somehow works out.
Probably.


(...I don't know for sure though lol)

I participated in
Nozomin-san's project.
Thank you for such a wonderful project!

Everyone, thank you for your hard work this week!
Please feel free to laugh at my blunders! 🤭