A story about realizing I was preemptively preventing my child from failing

My second-grade son has become interested in multiplication.

In our house, we make it a rule to work on daily tasks after dinner. If there is homework from school, that is fine, and if not, he does a self-study workbook.

It takes about 10 or 15 minutes. It is a short time, but as a parent, I want him to get into the habit of sitting down and studying on his own every day.

My second-grade son is supposed to alternate between math and reading comprehension workbooks. But watching from the sidelines, it seems he finds math more fun.

“I want to do multiplication”

A few days ago, he declared this to me firmly, as if he had made a major decision.

Oh, I see.

The math workbook only has addition and subtraction. Through repeated practice so far, he can do both addition and subtraction with almost no problems. While he needs to continue practicing to improve his accuracy and speed, I can understand why he might be bored with just that.

“Have you memorized all the multiplication tables?”

When I asked that, my son went silent, trailing off with an “Uh...” I know, and Mom knows, that he hasn't yet. He hasn't learned all the sets at school either. He's only about halfway through, right?

Even so, my son is suddenly trying to do multiplication with two or more digits.

“If you can't recall the multiplication tables instantly, doing multiplication will take a long time and be difficult. Let's memorize the multiplication tables first.”

When I said that, my son's face quickly turned sulky. While scattering wordless groans, he was turning his unfulfilled desire into frustration.

“I don't care if it takes time! I want to do multiplication!”

Watching that, I thought, “Oh.”

My son is finally in the mood to learn something new, and here I am saying things that block that desire.

That's right, it's fine if it takes time. If he understands what skills are needed to do multiplication with two or more digits, isn't that enough? That alone is enough for today's learning.

Rather than being told preemptively before even trying, “You lack this, do this first,” it would be much better for him to try it himself and see.

“Okay. Then, let's try multiplication.”

When I quickly changed course, my son also quickly smiled. He switches gears fast.

I explained the method for long multiplication one step at a time, starting from two-digit by one-digit problems and moving up to three-digit by two-digit problems.

My son tackled each process, his mind working at full capacity. Since he hasn't fully memorized his multiplication tables yet, he had to rely on addition here and there to calculate, which naturally took time. I worried he might get frustrated along the way, but he persevered and finished it without losing patience.

On the contrary, every time he solved a problem, he would look at the long multiplication he had written and beam with joy. I could see the delight of discovering something new bubbling up from within him. Perhaps he felt proud of himself for being able to do such complex calculations, which were different from simple addition and subtraction.

Watching the whole process from right beside him, what I thought was,

“I'm glad I didn't crush this budding interest”

that was it.

Now, what did we learn from trying out multiplication?

“So, let's do our best to memorize the multiplication tables.”

When I said that at the end and patted his head, my son nodded obediently and said, “Yeah.”

(The End)

Thank you for reading.
Parenting is always a series of trial and error.

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