My husband sometimes freezes when I speak Japanese without holding back at all

My husband is American.

Our conversations as a couple are mostly in English, but I often speak to him in Japanese as well. This is usually when I want to say something that just popped into my head instantly, or when I'm giving a casual, off-the-cuff response. It's often the first sentence of a conversation or a short phrase during a back-and-forth exchange. Since my husband studied Japanese in the past and lived in Japan, he can understand this level of length in daily conversation almost without ever asking me to repeat myself.

Because my husband has such strong confidence in his Japanese, I don't bother to slow down my speaking speed, and I now use Osaka dialect instead of standard Japanese without a second thought. Naturally, I taught him the basics of Osaka dialect after we got married. He seems to be able to naturally convert frequently used vocabulary like "akan" (no good), "~yanen" (it is), and "chau" (that's wrong) in his head now. I think my husband's Japanese ability (especially his listening) is quite advanced.

Even with that husband, there are times when he freezes up when I speak without holding back at all. As a Japanese person, I don't intend to say anything difficult, but it can sound difficult to a foreigner. We had a moment like that the other day and laughed about it together, but I thought I'd take this opportunity to compile some original examples of difficult Japanese listening comprehension from our household.

1. "Kitkat kattotoita yo" (I bought some KitKats for you)

At this casual remark of mine, my husband froze with a serious look on his face, muttering "Kat-kat...?" to himself.

I think the difficulty of this sentence lies in: (1) understanding the pronunciation of the loanword "KitKat" (which sounds like something else to a foreigner), and (2) grasping the meaning of the sentence without getting distracted by the rhythm while the "t" sound repeats three times.

2. "Ikkai ikana akanna" (I really have to go there once)

This was when we were talking about a restaurant we found near our house. My husband is the type to properly say when he doesn't understand something, so he stopped the conversation at this remark of mine and said, "What?"

If I had said "Ikkai itte miyou yo" (Let's try going there once), he probably would have understood it immediately, but it seems it was difficult because it was in Osaka dialect and used a double negative sentence structure. I get it. Double negatives in a foreign language take time to process. Plus, since similar sounds and rhythms are repeated, I think it sounds like some kind of spell if you don't understand the meaning.

3. "Tabetakattara tabe, tabetakunakattara tabende ii" (If you want to eat, eat; if you don't want to eat, you don't have to eat)

This was something I said to my son in a stern tone. My son is a terrible picky eater when it comes to vegetables and was throwing a tantrum because he didn't want to eat the vegetables I served for dinner. He was complaining so much that I said it to mean he should decide for himself whether to eat them or not.

My husband, seeing our son upset after being snapped at by me, asked him with a serious face, "Did you understand what Mom just said?" My son nodded and translated it into English for my husband, saying, "Mom said this."

He probably would have understood if I had said it slowly, but I was feeling irritated when I said it, so I think it sounded like a tongue twister. To my husband's ears, it probably sounded something like this:

TABETAKATTARATABE, TABETAKUNAKATTARATABENDEII

This is difficult.

I am a Spartan wife who bombards her husband with such confusing Japanese every day, but this is fine. After all, my husband speaks to me in English without mercy, too.

[Postscript]
A few days after writing this article, I found another perfect example.

4. "Nani nuruno?" (What are you spreading?)

One morning, I said this to my daughter because I wanted to ask if she wanted butter or jam spread on the bread I had prepared for her breakfast. My husband...

"Did you just say 'na ni nu ne no'?"

he asked with a puzzled look on his face.

Huh, so this is what it sounds like to a foreigner—'na ni nu ne no.' Now that he mentions it, it really is almost entirely 'na ni nu ne no.'

***

It's silly, but am I the only one who finds this slowly creeping sense of humor funny? (lol)